Stages in Growing up: Four to Five Years Old

1.  Pre-school and kindergarten stages in growing up provide an opportunity for children to meet new people and face new challenges.  This is a time when children like learning start to develop the ability to cooperate with others.  By five, most kids have already learned to play a variety of roles. Examples: a follower of older children, a bossy leader of younger children, and a cooperative partner with a peer. 

2.  Children begin to have strong preferences in playmates and identify with people of their own sex. As four to five years old children pass through these stages in growing up, their play becomes more complex as their cognitive skills develop.  Even though they may invent imaginary friends and make up stories they insist are true, children at this stage begin to understand the difference between the real and the imaginary.   

3.  Four to five years old stages in growing up ask detailed questions that require thoughtful answers.  They also are curious about their past because hearing about their past helps them feel bigger in the present.  At this time, children become more emotionally independent and are frequently more interested in spending time with their peers than with their parents.

4.  Encouraged by their friends, 4-year-olds often consciously break rules and behave inappropriately.  With or without provocation, they might bite, pinch, hit, or kick; throw or intentionally break things; call people’s names; or use profanity.  These stages of growing up assert the children’s independence by defying parents and teachers.  Angry reactions from adults are often met with smirks and a general attitude that communicates “You can’t get me.” 

5.  Children often experience mood swings at this stage of development.  They begin to understand the concept of “right” and “wrong” but test “wrong” to get adult attention.  Parents have to choose when, where, and how to respond.  Some things can be ignored but it is imperative to react strongly and firmly to the rest.

6.  Four to five years old stages in growing up can take care of themselves in their daily routines.  They might become fussy about their clothing, and they like others to admire what they are wearing.  They enjoy helping around the house, but they usually forget to do the chores they have been assigned.  They may be very sloppy about taking care of their clothes and toys and show a disregard for other people’s things. 

7.  Concentration spans lengthen and, by four and a half, many children spend long periods building, painting, or playing dress up.  They like completing what they begin and the uninterrupted time they require should be provided whenever possible.

8.  Fears recede in intensity and begin to shift from fantasy.  These stages in growing up may worry them about the safety of their parents and the possibility of abandonment.  As children move from four to five years old in life, parents often find them to be more emotionally stable. 

9.  They are more predictable and wild outbursts generally disappear.  Almost overnight children of this age become helpful, cooperative, and very responsive to praise.  Their defiance evaporates, they want to do things the right way, and they are extremely sensitive to criticism. 

10.  Their self-concept is largely drawn from how they think teachers and parents view them.  If they haven’t been ridiculed or constantly criticized, four to five years old move through the year of developing a sense of purpose, inner control, and direction.  The goal of stages in growing up for them is to feel comfortable and capable in their world.

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