How to Raise Good Kids: Be Realistic, Kids Mess Up

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Kids are not perfect. How to raise good kids is not expecting perfection. They mess up most of the time.  They are kids, especially when it comes to grades.  Good grades are not worth crying over.  Good grades are not worth sacrificing social balance over.  Ask your kids to do their best then teach them to be satisfied with their results.



LIST ON HOW TO RAISE GOOD KIDS:

     1.    If you have little bitty kids, sit on the floor a lot.  Communicate at their level.
     2.    Teach them about money.  How to earn it, save it, invest it, spend it, and give it away.
     3.    Raise good kids by listening to them.  Ask more, tell less.
     4.    Hug more—this is what they need—then nag less.
     5.    Show your kids good affection even after they think they are too big for it.
     6.    Teach them good, important things: kindness, charity, love, forgiveness, compassion, respect, honesty, responsibility, and how to have fun.
     7.    Never lie to them if you want to raise good kids.  Never tolerate any lie from them.
     8.    Raise good kids by developing their own uniqueness.  Do not try to mold their personality. 
     9.    Let them be who they are and let them become what they want to be, not what you want them to be.
   10.  Do not make jackass out of yourself at their sporting events.
   11.  Raise them up but do not protect them too much.  Let them make their own mistakes and suffer the consequences.  The lesson is in the consequences.
   12.  Give more love than stuff and you’ll raise good kids.


STAY INVOLVED TO RAISE GOOD KIDS

Know what is going on in your kids’ lives.  Know what their good interests are.  Know their friends.  Have their friends over to your house for a party.  Yes, they will trash your house, but it is better to have a messed up house than a dead kid.  We raise children but they die these days.  There are guns and drugs and suicide and pedophiles to deal with.  We do not have too many of those things to deal with when we were younger.  Kids today deal with more serious stuff than we ever did.  The best way how to raise good kids is to keep your kids involved and you being involved with them.  Know who they hang around with, know where they go and have their friends come to your house so you can be close—not to meddle in their business, but just so you will be there if needed.


GIVE THEM THEIR PRIVACY, BUT KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON

Do not read their email or their diaries.  Do not be a snoop.  You need to stay informed but if you violate their privacy they will resent you and cut you off from any and all information.  If you really want to raise good kids know what is going on, establish a relationship based on open communication, trust, and respect.  Then you will not have to resort to being a snoop in order to stay informed.


BE COOL BUT NOT TOO COOL

Be the good, kind of parent your kids can talk to.  But do not be their best friend.  Do not try to be one of the gangs.  I raise good kids with my two boys.  I am their friend but I am still their father.  We can openly talk about anything in the world.  Yet, there is a line between being their best friend and still being their father that we do not cross.

It is sad to see mothers and fathers trying to be their kids’ good friends.  Children should pick their own friends.  Let them.  Do not be such a needy parent that you require your children to pick you as their best friend.  Be realistic on how to raise good kids!

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Raising Your Child: 3 Secrets to Raising a Happy Child

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There are really no secrets to raising a happy child.  Parents need only to do one simple thing: to stop doing all things that keep the child pleased in the short-term.  Giving everything your child wants make him think everything can be attained in this world which is not the way it is. 

Understand that raising a happy child is not absolutely the parents’ responsibility.  Many parents who think they are responsible for their children’s happiness will only cause anger, loneliness and failures to themselves and the kids.  Most parents tend to immediately provide things to resolve their kids’ emotional problems.  Unluckily, if children do not learn how to deal with their negative emotions, parents may not be able to create happy children.  Many conditions will increase problems to their children’s lives.


Once parents realize they can’t really make their kids happy, children will be likely to fix their own feelings. Through this, parents can help children to develop resilience, skills for coping up with obstacles and solutions to many struggles.



Here are the three secrets to raising a happy child


Secret # 1:  Always nurture strong connections.


Your kids’ way of enhancing his long-life healthy emotions is by being “connected” with people.  It means they are connected with the members of the family, relatives, friends, not excluding house pets.  Genuine happiness comes from being a part of other people’s lives.  A happy feeling that somebody understands, appreciates and cares about them is the largest defender against emotional and mental disturbances.  The condition helps also in coping with the risky behaviours in alcohol, sex, smoking and taking drugs. 

Secret #2:  Allow opportunities for achieving success and overcoming failures.


If you truly want to strengthen the self-confidence of your child, avoid focusing much on praises but provide more ways in honing his skills and learning new things.  It is mastery that builds higher self-esteem and not compliments. Our greatest challenge to raising a happy child is to stay back and allow our kids do things they can do for themselves.  Allow children learn things through the consequences of their wrong choices and actions. One big mistake parents unconsciously do is caring and doing too much for their young children, depriving them the opportunities to succeed and excel.


In reality, it is not easy for parents to see children struggling hard.  But eventually they’ll get the mastery in what they do if they are allowed to do things for themselves.  On their first attempt, only few skills are completed, but through patience and practice, kids will accomplish expertise. Through recurring mastery experiences will they mature and carry the “I can do” attitude. These secrets to raising a happy child will allow passion and optimism overcome future struggles.

Secret #3:  Don’t forsake responsibilities.


Children become happy mainly because of the feeling that they can do things especially when they receive importance from others.  Deprived of that feeling, they become afraid and feel left out by others.  Studies show that what children are afraid of is the state of being excluded.

In short, every person has the inborn need to be appreciated, loved and needed to be happy.  The more you affirm about your kids’ great contribution to the family, the larger they develop confidence and you can succeed in raising a happy child.  Children three years old or below can contribute significant role to the family.   


So if your child loves to organize things, offer him a task to sort CDs. If he is predominantly nurturing, provide opportunities to look after his baby sister while eating your meal.  As long as your child is making a great contribution, it will raise his sense of confidence and connection.


What makes raising a happy child successful could surprise you! Experts say that child’s happiness is something parents can’t give like a gift.  In fact, over-protected and over showered with toys, children are more prone to grow fed up, pessimistic, and lacking confidence.  The most important secret to raising a happy child is not external but internal:  helping kids to develop inner tools children can count on for the rest of their life.

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