Showing posts with label Relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relationship. Show all posts

Outdated Parenting Skills: 6 Signs Your Parenting Skills need Updating

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Have you already updated your outdated parenting skills?  Let’s accept the reality: if your parenting approach is based on the 20th century instead of today’s 21st century, you’re setting up a formula to fail in your family and parenting.   If you’re applying the outdated techniques, your parents and your grandparents used many years ago, then you and your children will not enjoy your relationship.  


Keep in mind that all bets are off the moment a child is born.  Your kids may not be interested in your passion for music, sports, or history.  Let the kids grow to be what they are destined to be.  Don't let outdated parenting skills come your way.  As a result, a great, lasting relationship will be developed between the two of you.

6 Signs Your Parenting Skills are Outdated:

1.   You scream and yell frequently.  Modern children are not responsive to frequent yelling and screaming.  Before you know it, they’re yelling back at you.  It will only result to loud yelling contest between you and your kids.  It is smarter to stay cool, especially when talking with the kids.  Use your authoritative voice, but avoid screaming and yelling, you will only look like insane.  Constant yelling and screaming cannot win your child’s respect. 

2.   You’re either aggressive or passive.  Is the kind of behaviour you’re displaying passive or aggressive. These two are outdated parenting skills to avoid.   If your kids don’t want to take out the garbage after telling him, do you show negative reaction like pouting?  You may not intend to do it, but your action shows you’re like a child.  If the kid doesn’t follow your order, tell him a consequence will be imposed. Being passive or aggressive is not helpful.

3.   You’re not even listening.   Are you a good parent as well as a good listener?  There are times your children want you to listen to them rather than absorbing all your voice of wisdom.  Ask them if they want to listen in case you want to share your advice.  If they don’t want, tell them it’s okay and ask them you always have time to talk to them.   They’ll give you their respect and trust.  Don’t force them to take your great thoughts if they’re not prepared to listen to you. 

4. You don’t accept it’s 21st century now. Being a child or a teenager of this generation is not the same 20 years or more ago.  They belong to the digital world now, have advanced technology and they grow up smarter and brighter.  Remember the time when a Walkman or Atari was fresh and popular?  Now they have advanced devices: laptops, netbooks, MP3 players, and tablets.  The former gadgets are considered outdated already. Now their way to communicate and socialize have gone up globally using technology and social networking websites.  Understand their present life from today’s point of view. This way you can adjust your outdated parenting skills.

5.   You avoid the right consequences. How well your kids understand the law of cause and effect.  Each action needs a certain reaction.  For instance, if they break the curfew rules, the consequences can be depriving their video playing games or no TV watching.  As they go into the existing world, they get a consequence for being late or not following rules.

6.   You always say “no.”  Who runs the entire home? Your kids or you?  You will create a big chaos if you always say “keep quiet” or “stop it” or “don’t” or “no.” Saying no to them follows a simple explanation.  Explain why it is “no” Use your authoritative voice, be firm, but don’t forget to be fair also.

Parents of today need to improve their outdated parenting skills, or else their parenting is not going anywhere. Accept the fact that children are not the same more than 20 years ago.  Parenting the children the way they raised you may not be effective anymore.  Be willing to learn, improve, and leave behind your ineffective parenting approach.  Definitely you’ll decrease your stress level and create a happier family.

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Outdated Parenting Skills: 6 Signs Your Parenting Skills need Updating is a post on Modern Parenting Tips: Styles & Approach to Train & Discipline Children
      
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Raising Your Child: 3 Secrets to Raising a Happy Child

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There are really no secrets to raising a happy child.  Parents need only to do one simple thing: to stop doing all things that keep the child pleased in the short-term.  Giving everything your child wants make him think everything can be attained in this world which is not the way it is. 

Understand that raising a happy child is not absolutely the parents’ responsibility.  Many parents who think they are responsible for their children’s happiness will only cause anger, loneliness and failures to themselves and the kids.  Most parents tend to immediately provide things to resolve their kids’ emotional problems.  Unluckily, if children do not learn how to deal with their negative emotions, parents may not be able to create happy children.  Many conditions will increase problems to their children’s lives.


Once parents realize they can’t really make their kids happy, children will be likely to fix their own feelings. Through this, parents can help children to develop resilience, skills for coping up with obstacles and solutions to many struggles.



Here are the three secrets to raising a happy child


Secret # 1:  Always nurture strong connections.


Your kids’ way of enhancing his long-life healthy emotions is by being “connected” with people.  It means they are connected with the members of the family, relatives, friends, not excluding house pets.  Genuine happiness comes from being a part of other people’s lives.  A happy feeling that somebody understands, appreciates and cares about them is the largest defender against emotional and mental disturbances.  The condition helps also in coping with the risky behaviours in alcohol, sex, smoking and taking drugs. 

Secret #2:  Allow opportunities for achieving success and overcoming failures.


If you truly want to strengthen the self-confidence of your child, avoid focusing much on praises but provide more ways in honing his skills and learning new things.  It is mastery that builds higher self-esteem and not compliments. Our greatest challenge to raising a happy child is to stay back and allow our kids do things they can do for themselves.  Allow children learn things through the consequences of their wrong choices and actions. One big mistake parents unconsciously do is caring and doing too much for their young children, depriving them the opportunities to succeed and excel.


In reality, it is not easy for parents to see children struggling hard.  But eventually they’ll get the mastery in what they do if they are allowed to do things for themselves.  On their first attempt, only few skills are completed, but through patience and practice, kids will accomplish expertise. Through recurring mastery experiences will they mature and carry the “I can do” attitude. These secrets to raising a happy child will allow passion and optimism overcome future struggles.

Secret #3:  Don’t forsake responsibilities.


Children become happy mainly because of the feeling that they can do things especially when they receive importance from others.  Deprived of that feeling, they become afraid and feel left out by others.  Studies show that what children are afraid of is the state of being excluded.

In short, every person has the inborn need to be appreciated, loved and needed to be happy.  The more you affirm about your kids’ great contribution to the family, the larger they develop confidence and you can succeed in raising a happy child.  Children three years old or below can contribute significant role to the family.   


So if your child loves to organize things, offer him a task to sort CDs. If he is predominantly nurturing, provide opportunities to look after his baby sister while eating your meal.  As long as your child is making a great contribution, it will raise his sense of confidence and connection.


What makes raising a happy child successful could surprise you! Experts say that child’s happiness is something parents can’t give like a gift.  In fact, over-protected and over showered with toys, children are more prone to grow fed up, pessimistic, and lacking confidence.  The most important secret to raising a happy child is not external but internal:  helping kids to develop inner tools children can count on for the rest of their life.

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How to Save Your Marriage & Avoid Divorce for Your Children

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While there may be justified reasons for broken marriage and divorce, still the end result will be the damaged families, especially for children who are too young to experience the tragedy of separation.  

What should you do as couples to avoid your divorce, save your marriage and still fulfill your obligations to children?  For the sake of your kids, don't allow minor disputes to ruin your entire marriage and family. Obviously, before you can become effective parents, first understand how to care of your husband and wife relationship. This good treatment can then be extended to your children.  

In order to avoid divorce, each marriage should be planned to help husbands and wives be prepared. Obviously, the first couple of years are the most crucial stage in marriage. If problems are not solved, you may not avoid having divorce.  While you truly love each other, there are heavy suitcases both of you keep carrying.  The man could be very critical while the woman could be a nagger and yet sensitive.  Other struggles may involve loss of job, death of a child, or relationship involvement of a third party.  And if things get worse it is really hard to save your marriage and avoid divorce.

When all these things start to happen, you think getting married was a big mistake.  After the fights and tears, who would help to make things right? A pastor, family friend, a therapist, or any third party? How would both of you get through with the struggles of having a divorce?

Seek marriage help

Having no divorce problems in your marriage would not mean you don’t need any support.  Be pro-active in getting help to improve relationship. It’s just like an insurance.  So read, discuss, and get new information about successful marriage.  You may take courses for marriage training, attend seminars, listen to counselors—anything you can think about to build up stronger marriage and avoid divorce.

See yourself first

Take time to think about the role you should play as well as your responsibilities.  Understand where your spouse is coming from, then sympathize with his feelings.  To save your marriage avoid pointing your fingers at your partner.  Accepting the truth that you also have faults will help improve the relationship.  You would never realize how you could be loved.  Being conscious about your attitude and how it affects the other person, you then become more caring and less critical.
Build up your marriage partner
If your concern is to meet the needs of your marriage partner, chances are he will do the same to you.  Build up his confidence and he will do the same.  For the wives, what they need is for the husband to care for them, touch, love and cherish them.  Writing short love notes, whispering to their ears, being helpful and thoughtful—all are powerful ways to love wives.  Husbands, on the contrary, are in need of being respected and admired.  Paying attention when they speak, listening to their opinions, agreeing with their decisions—all will fulfill their needs.
Spend quality moments with each other

To avoid divorce and save your marriage, make your honeymoon a ritual habit of couples.  Doing this thing keeps your relationship intact and both of you will receive revenues in return.  Have a dinner together, stroll together, stay close, cuddle the wife, have a walk together—anything that can keep you marriage closer.   Spend time for your interests, and hang out with each other.  Talk with fun about yourselves and don’t attempt to be seriously discussing on something.  Be acquainted again, and be romantically and physically involved.

Choose your marriage struggles
Fights and disrespect are grounds for divorce that's why it's hard to save marriage.  But various problems are normal for married couples.  Hence, make sure you pick your warfare intelligently since there are lots of them.  The significant value is how can you control the challenges and not to end up having divorce.  You and your partner should have the disposition to compromise.  Certainly, there’s no need to fight over the varying opinions you have about marriage. Provide grace and understanding for each other and you'll avoid divorce.
Discuss with fellow successful couples
There are common things husbands and wives always fight about.  So it's empowering to draw strength from other couples also.  It's recommended to interact, get tips and advice on marriage break up and how to cope with it.  Having people to talk to—those in the same boat—will be helpful in getting right ways for your difficult problems.  It helps when you feel there are other couples who want to support your marriage.
Majority of new couples encounter extreme struggles in their marriage.  Everything happening is normal, and most husbands and wives are just going through same problems.  Marriage is not having a competition, who is right and who is wrong.  Marriage is not for divorce either; it's a lifetime commitment.  Accept at times that the decisions and opinions you make could be wrong.  Then be willing to think through your partner’s viewpoint!

What could be more wonderful in accepting responsibilities of parents than to keep their marriage stronger. Your main goal is to save your your children, your marriage and avoid divorce.  Separation is traumatic to you  and to your children.  As couples, you should exercise the right relationship that's free from the risk of divorce.  Only then can you raise happy and successful children in the family.

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3 Helpful Tips How to Cope with Teenage Rebellion

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Teenage rebellion is psychologically recognized as a type of behavior that displaces race, status, and culture.  As part of emerging personality for adulthood life, a teenage life undergoes a stage to develop  an individualized identity.  It’s a condition teens want to prove they’re independent enough in making decisions and be responsible for their own actions.  Teenage life may try out various behaviors, roles, or philosophy. And because of these, they may display the advent of teenage rebellion.

Tips to dealing with teenage rebellion

1.   First, determine the original issue why rebellious teens are showing disorder behavior. Or, is rebellion just part of your teenager’s growing up?  There are conflicts that are normal between parents and teenagers, but this can’t be considered as teenage rebellion.  And there are struggles that openly display symptoms of teenage rebellion.  

Concerned parents—in their attempt to get a quick-fix on teenage rebellion—resolve only the shallow part of the problem.  Oftentimes, they miss targeting the root cause of teenage rebellion.  While some conflicts are considered natural, many situations actually indicate a deeper problem like “defiance” and “lack of respect.”  This state is all about a teenager’s life and not the parents'.  You don’t feel it that way if you always receive the outburst of rebellion. But teens only melt down before parents whom they trust, and this is a confirmed scientific fact.

As a result, it is best to identify the main cause of teenage rebellion.  Parents should know if there is the presence of depression.  Or, is there any option for them to take drugs? Can new friends be blamed on this? Or, is teenage rebellion the only way of searching for what is more important—your love and attention?  These serious conditions require appropriate handling. But undoubtedly, learn to figure out the major cause why there is rebellion.

2.   Next, understand that teenage rebellion is not beneficial.  The crucial thing of teens development task is to work out their role as an individual and to keep living self-sufficiently.  If they do challenge your protocol and push your limits, they’re only doing what they think is existing in the real world.  It’s the world that forces them to do self-made judgments for themselves and others.

Parents have all the opportunities to demonstrate ways to manage the lives of their teenagers and to overcome rebellion.  At the same time they can train them to respect other people and authority.  This, though, is difficult to do if you’re bombarded with warfare.  While it may be an exhausting and extended fight, the combat has a good purpose if properly managed.

Avoid ending up with an overwhelming teenage rebellion every now and then. As you see it, their disobedience makes you even more upset.  So keep reminding yourself that the formula is to prepare them to adulthood stage.  Subsequently, this condition of rebellion becomes more bearable for you.

3.   Lastly, abhor the teenage rebellion  but love your teenager.  Majority of teenagers are craving for their parents’ time and attention, even if your mind is saying different thoughts.  How often do you appreciate the good things they do?  Do you talk about their importance and what they want to share with you?  Are you asking them to join in your activities although most of the time they don’t feel like doing it?  Or is it only the acts of teenage rebellion that you often see? All these things are so critical for a teenage life although they may look unimportant to parents. 

Today’s teenage generation would prefer to be appreciated than to fight.  However, teenage rebellion occurs in order to fight than to be ignored. That is why parents are required to demonstrate genuine love and affection rather than focusing on rebellion. Although it may seem effective to them, over time they will end up creating a big difference in their attitude and behavior.

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Successful Parenting Tips in Shaping a Child’s Behavior

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Being a parent requires no classes, academic degrees, or licenses.  Children do not arrive with a set of instructions or a manual.  Often, parents have to learn as they go, receiving on-the-job training.  It is a difficult job, and no quantity or understanding can totally prepare them for all the circumstances that they may come across.

To some, there is a natural instinct that seems to come to a new parent, but there are bits of advice that can help when you face challenges in the growing years of your kids.  Because most parents are concerned in becoming more effective, here are some guidelines to help you face and handle your children’s daily activities. 

Here are some tips for successful parenting

Tip # 1

Use your authority

Studies show that kids brought up by loving and yet authoritative parents—those who support their children but keep firm limits—stand out academically,  consider many good things about themselves, and build up better social skills.  They are happier than children whose parents are either excessively lenient or harsh.  All the way from childhood through their adolescent years, your kids will defy your right in exercising authority over them.  When it comes to a question like “Who is the boss?” children will be boss if parents won’t run with the ball.

Tip # 2

Identify family issues

Kids become better with understandable rules and consequences.  Using no structure, they become unhappy, selfish, self-absorbed—and they make everybody around them unhappy, too.  If you do love your kids, you have to correct them.  If rules are broken, impose the consequences right away.  Note: if you are angry, wait until you have calmed down before you enforce the discipline.  Nevertheless, don’t delay it.  Avoid bargaining.

Tip # 3

Recognize your child’s feelings

Children need and want the most important ones in their lives—their parents—to understand how they feel inside.  If parents consistently oppose their kids when expressing their emotions, children will be less expected to discuss matters with them and may even doubt their capabilities on how to think and feel good about themselves.  Children naturally express their emotions and thoughts in intense ways.

Tip # 4

Educate by example

Actions teach and educate.  Very often, words impact only information.  Mimicking their parents is one of the most influential ways children learn.  Try hard to be good models but not perfect.  Keep bringing them up in well-disciplined and mental-guiding ways.

Tip # 5

Seek good advice

Definitely, bringing up a child is one of the most frustrating yet rewarding and fulfilling tasks any person can achieve.  Most parents go to professional parenting specialists for advice and guidance.  Some of what these skilled people speak of is based on principles.  Ask for the expert’s perspective and mastery on how to raise kids.  Seek for both sensible examples and direct advice that can assist you in becoming better parents.

Successful parenting has never been much needed in one family than these days.  Right parenting helps in shaping the next generations teaching how they will behave and live on.  Understanding the healthy techniques and applying them diligently is tiring and a difficult process, but the reward is long-lasting and fulfilling.  Congratulations to all parents out there who have done their most important roles in raising their kids!!

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Six Tips to Raising a Happy Child

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What makes a happy child? All parents want nothing but the best for their children. One day we want to see them as loving persons, reach their dreams and be successful.  Most importantly, we want them to be happy and enjoy life.  But the question is how much do we control our children and block the opportunities for them to be happy?

Research shows that happy, well-behaved children are the product of happy and optimistic homes.  What can parents do to generate a home where your child's happiness will flourish? Read on these 6 tips to help develop your child's ability to experience joy and happiness:


1.   A happy child knows his parents are excited about him. 

Let your child view the light shine inside your eyes when you see him. Be mindful of his presence by showing him your smile and warm greeting.  Speak his name aloud.  Children long to hear and feel validation from their parents. Wouldn’t you love to see a person’s face glow as he enters your room because he’s happy for you? Your child loves you the most.  Think of the returns when a child receives such happy affection.


2.   Help him know it’s fine to get bored sometimes. 

As parents, it’s your normal instinct to entertain your children every time they wake up.  It goes on for the rest of the day.  So if we let them get bored and we rely on television, we limit their growth and development. Bear in mind how children possess great imaginations that flourish upon nurturing. But without the opportunity to persuade their creativity, they won't be happy and growth will not happen.  It only frustrates you not to find a happy child.  So let your children’s idle minutes develop their creativity with hands-on activities.  Help them stimulate their imaginative thoughts.  A few pieces of paper and some crayons can keep a happy child busy.

 
3.   Let the child understand he is more important than your work. 

Your children won’t just need your presence; they need your happy connective actions with them.  Why not play with your children and interact with them.  Ask some questions and listen to their answers, it’s the best way to interact.  Your child is waiting for a few minutes where you are not busy with your email, mobile phone and Facebook.  Allowing your children know they are important is like giving them the insulin to be happy.  It makes sense to create a happy child if your work becomes secondary only.


4.   Allow your child to make a couple of rules. 

You’re not making them the boss of the house; let them feel empowered once in a while.  Oftentimes, the struggles with our children are the direct results of them feeling they’re just followers. Parents could control these situations by allowing them feel they’re part of making house protocols. By giving your children some controls, you’re helping them understand household rules. This will lead straight to their willingness to obey.  Help them feel they have the right to give suggestive house rules.  Makes sense for a happy child, doesn’t it?


5.   Don’t think the child knows everything, so teach him.   

The job of parents is home schooling their children to be happy.  Whether your children go to a private or public school, it is essential that parents are the ones to fill in most of their growing needs.  There are skills not taught in school that should be learned in homes.  Growth should include the packaged deal: physical, mental, social, emotional, and spiritual.  Over time, your children will leave you and you don’t see them anymore.  What they need are sharpened tools that will help them become the best persons they can be.  It makes a happy child to leave your parental support because you prepared him to live independently.


6.   Display acceptable behavior for them to copy. 

In general, this is the most important factor on the list. Children do what they see from parents, not as they’re told to. If you want your child to be generous, first you got to be generous to others. If you want you want a happy child, parents must always wear a smile on their face. There is no one more influential to your child than you, the parents. Their trust is in you, so don’t ruin this trust.

How to raise a happy child?  It is not that easy but this is one thing that must be done within a family.  Once you focus on the child’s needs, you’re doing all you can and your efforts will be rewarded. Every parent can have a happy child, fortunate to have been raised in a loving-environment family!


Six Tips to Raising a Happy Child  is a blog post on  Modern Parenting Tips: Styles & Approach to Train & Discipline Children


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    How to Handle Family Sibling Rivalry among Children

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    Sibling rivalry is a normal, healthy part of life among children.  In a family, no matter how well-behaved siblings are, they will occasionally fight or argue with each other.

    The severity and frequency of sibling rivalry depends on many things, including age difference, personality, age of children, and how fighting is handled by parents.


    It is generally thought that the younger children are, the more rivalry there will be. Rivalry does seem to decrease as children get older. It is also thought that the closer in age the children are, the more rivalry there will be. There is generally more competitiveness between children who are close in age.



    While there are many parents who do not know how to handle the rivalry among their children, there are some steps that can be taken to minimize such rivalry.


    Why Sibling Rivalry Occurs

    Whether siblings fight a lot or a little, there is usually no one specific cause. Rivalry occurs for a number of reasons. They differ from family to family and from sibling to sibling. Here are some common reasons why siblings fight.


    1.   Status - Many siblings fight for position in the family.


    2.   Attention - Many siblings fight to get their parents' attention.


    3.   Ownership - Many siblings fight over belongings, friends, and parents' time. 


    How to Minimize Sibling Rivalry

    1.   Treat children as individuals. Parents should stress their children's unique traits and individuality and should acknowledge their individual accomplishments.


    2.   Praise getting-along behaviors. Parents should catch their kids being good and should praise them for getting along. Parents should be specific in their praise, so their children know exactly what they are being praised for. For example "That's great how you're playing and getting along so well." Praise can be an excellent motivator of good behavior. Parents should be careful not to use praise as a way of comparing children. This will quickly backfire.


    3.   Spend time alone with your kids. No matter how many kids there are in the family, each child needs individual attention from both parents on a regular basis. Special alone-time with kids need not be complicated. Reading, taking a walk, or running an errand are all simple ways for parents to spend special time with each of their kids. Spending time alone with each child not only cuts down on rivalry, but it also strengthens the relationship between parents and their children.


    4.   Be aware of your problem-solving style. Parents should pay attention to how they get along with other adults, including their spouses. Kids learn how to handle rivalry by watching their parents. Parents should show their children appropriate ways to solve problems.


    5.   Provide lots of love and affection for your kids. Parents should show their kids often that they love them through words and actions.


    6.   Encourage children to spend time alone. Parents should encourage each of their children to participate in activities separate from those of other siblings.


    Don'ts

    1.   Don't compare kids to one another. Parents should try to avoid comparisons, even positive ones. If parents hold one child up as an example to another, they run the risk of intensifying rivalry. Comparisons may cause hurt feelings and hopelessness, too, if one child feels he or she can't or doesn't measure up.


    2.   Don't take sides. Parents should try to remain neutral bystanders in sibling rivalry.  Kids often try to involve their parents in arguments with siblings as a way to gain control over the situation. Parents should try to stay out of fights between children who can stick up for themselves. The only exception is for physical fights. Parents should step in when fights become physical. They should make sure their kids know that they are not allowed to hurt each other. Stepping in, however, does not need to imply that parents are taking sides. One good way of maintaining neutrality is to simply demand an end to the hostilities and to refuse to listen to arguments and explanations.


    3.   Don't overreact to sibling rivalry. Disputes are bound to happen, and kids learn how to handle disputes by watching their parents. Parents who overreact may end up reinforcing a rivalry behavior.


    Sibling rivalry is a fact of life. There will always be family sibling rivalry among older children. However, parents can use these opportunities to teach their children how to resolve conflicts. This is a very important tool to have in life. Sibling rivalry has its positive side, too. In learning how to deal with rivalry, children learn how to cooperate, problem-solve, and negotiate. They will probably grow up to be more tolerant of other people, and more generous, too.

    Written by Kristen Zolten, M.A. and Nicholas Long, PhD, Department of Pediatrics, University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences Artwork by Scott Snider.  You can fin her article in Center for Effective Parenting.


    Family Sibling Rivalry Common among Older Children  is a post on Modern Parenting Tips: Styles & Approach to Train & Discipline Children


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    Stressful Family? Learn the Keys to Successful Parenting on Children (Part 2)

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    Successful parenting on children has never been more significant to a family than this day.  Effective parenting forms the lives of the young people, and the way the coming generations will live is dependent on our parenting today.  We’ve learned from the past that poor parenting has always led families to much stress and confusions.  This is the most difficult job to work on.


    Here is the continuation (part 2) of my article post on "Stressful Family? Learn the Keys to Successful Parenting on Children."

    5.   Explain the importance of inner strength – Through constructive ways, guide them how to accept rejections, mistakes, and overcome failures - It is normal to fail and make mistakes, these things teach our kids inner strength and character.  Successful parenting helps children understand how to do THEIR best and not THE best.  It is necessary to learn lessons from every circumstance they may encounter in life—be it good or bad.

    6.   Don’t give everything they want—This is one way to teach control over impulses.  As parents, we are sometimes guilty of doing this.  Tolerating this is hindering you to achieve successful parenting on children. Remember that instant gratification can’t form winning character on kids.   Instead allow these situations to help them realize that there certain limitations in everything.  They cannot get all things they want, explain in a loving manner.

    7.   Place encouragement in positive views - When you motivate your children to do things especially in studies, teach your kids the importance of doing his best, instead of affirming the negative. "Study or you get punished"—this makes for a negative, short-term motivation.  Doing this is teaching your kid not to get the value of his future.  He will miss the real concept why there is a need to work hard on his studies.

    8.   Teach them to be nice and helpful - Help the kids to appreciate what they have.  Teaching them to be kind and supportive makes a gentle spirit within.  Likewise, showing them to be thankful for whatever they get will produce a positive outlook. When kids see less fortunate people, tell them how blessed they are.  They are not in the same situation like others.  Successful parenting is done when children hear good things taught to them by their parents. 

    9.   Involve your kids with the situation at hand (to a certain degree) - How you handle this will depend on the kids' age. Knowing the proper timing and manner how to say it is crucial. Are you having certain financial struggles? Serious marital problems such as divorce? While these are adult problems, it can be discussed with the kids to a right level. This gives them a concrete grip of reality. The key to successful parenting on children is to explain it in the least negative way.  It should not involve bitterness but rather optimism and acceptance.


    Family is not meant to be a stressful life.  Today, there are a lot of guidelines online to help parents get effective family relationships.  Basically, successful parenting that deals with children involves much patience, love, and communications from parents.  The key is developing a close family relationship with children.  In the long run, they will come out as big winners in life!


    Stressful Family? Learn the Keys to Successful Parenting on Children (Part 2)  is a post on Modern Parenting Tips: Styles & Approach to Train & Discipline Children


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    Stressful Family? Learn the Keys to Successful Parenting on Children (Part 1)

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    The adulthood condition of a person is mainly influenced by how he or she was raised by the parents. To be successful in parenting children is hard to achieve.  This is true when bad experiences happened during the person’s childhood stages onwards. When parents have failed in giving positive attention and  nurturing ambiance, their children would seek acceptance and love from someone else—mostly from their peers.

    There are backgrounds why parents have turned hostile to their kids.  Here are the possibilities. 


         1.   A child didn’t receive sufficient love and attention.
         2.   A child didn’t get positive encouragement from parents.  
         3.   A child was treated cruelly through anger and punishment.


    However, with the help of today’s technology there are a variety of ways to overcome this problem.  If you want to be successful in parenting your children and help them avoid what you went through then read on. 


    Helpful tips to Successful Parenting

    1.   Provide positive attention and unconditional love – Successful parenting on children is loving them just as they are, not because they excel in school, sports, or show talents, but just for being what they are.  Parents should give their children attention, communicate more, show a hug and take time to listen. Enjoy doing activities with them.  Do things together—whether it's house chores or fun activities.  Kids love to seek their parents' attention and approval, whether through positive or negative behavior. If you have successful parenting on children it creates a stronger bond with your kids and they will always sink towards this bond.

    2.   Make constructive approach - As kids grow, they need parents’ affirmations on what they’re doing.  This results to acceptable behaviors or habits.  Having successful parenting praises good works and achievements.  For the kids it means so much and it builds self-confidence. Support their interests and encourage them in what skills they excel.  On the other hand, if they do you wrong, don’t just scold them.  Let them know the reason why.  If parents should reprimand, do it as calm as possible and in private.  Embarrassment, especially in front of others, results to resentment and low self-worth.  The start of hostile behaviors is when parents have not been successful in parenting their children while growing up.

    3.   Train your kids to be responsible - Even little kids have to learn responsibilities: picking up toys, folding laundry, doing homework, and sharing house chores.  Parents can teach them responsibility and it serves as bonding as well.  Learning responsibility is showing that kids may get rewarded for a good behavior.  Their little way of helping others pays off.  They provide motivation and empowerment.

    4.   Successful parenting on children is learning to say, “I’m sorry” – Being parents and adults we are not acting right at all times.  Occasionally, an impulsive burst of anger, or a false accusation, makes kids feel rejected.  It is humility to learn to apologize to them.   At the same time, this also teaches them to be humble and do the same when they do wrong.

    As parents, you only get one shot at raising your own children.  The time they have grown up wrong, kids become difficult to discipline. The greatest gift we can provide our kids is bringing them up with the right character, values, and attitude. A successful parenting you have on your children is a treasure they can also pass on to coming generations!




    On Family: What is Successful Parenting on Children?  is  a post on  Modern Parenting Tips: Styles & Approach to Train & Discipline Children




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      Children Hate their Parents: 5 Valid Reasons Why Children Dislike their Parents

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      While there are many things parents don’t like about their kids, there are also valid reasons why children hate their parents.  It is illogical for parents who perceive that they are the only ones doing right and their kids are always the ones doing wrong.  Effective parenting is a two-sided relationship.  Both parents and children must work hand in hand in order to make their relationship grow.  There should be no opportunity to provoke and hate one another.

      In this modern generation, one of the family issues is that kids don’t anymore respect their mothers and fathers--they hate them.  But how about us, are we aware that we should also respect and not hate our kids?  Often, parents complain about their children’s acts of stubbornness and disobedience.  Consequently, kids can hardly respect their parents and they tend to hate them instead.  Truth is many parents overlook their responsibility of nurturing their kids in caring ways.  They only see the authority they use to controlling them.  This sounds unfair for the kids, doesn't it?


      Basis why Children may Hate Parents

      1.    Over-protection does more harm than good.  Allow your child to discover new things on his own. Over-loving parents tend to over-protect their children in many ways--this can make kids to hate them.  Keep in mind that while a child continues to grow, he attempts to discover many things around him.   All kids have this natural inclination.  For younger boys, climbing up a small tree excites them.   You can provide useful tips on how to climb safely rather than restricting him.  So when the child climbs up again, he knows there are precautions to take. Children could hate a parent who is over-protective.  

      2.    Unfulfilled promises.   There are situations that parents do promise things for their children.  The kids with all their efforts do their part.  When time comes, parents provide lots of excuses to break their promises.   If this happens, young kids may begin to hate them.  They won’t be convinced anymore that you can still keep your promise.  These unfulfilled promises are instilled in the child’s mind.  It is a hurtful experience when the people they trust can't keep their words.

      3.    Frequent scolding is hateful.  You break their heart if you respond negatively while attempting to offer their help.  Kids want to please us in some small ways they can do, but how we ignore and hate their efforts.  Worse, they get unreasonably scolded rather than being appreciated and praised.  A husband and a wife are responsible to guide them into doing things right, not to verbally hate them when they create mistakes.  Be realistic that kids are too young to live by their parents’ standards.   Illogical anger is one thing kids hate about their parents. Parenting skills know how to discipline children without yelling and reprimanding.  

      4.    Paying no attention.  There are times kids want to be proud of their own accomplishments.  They want their parents to get their approval and that they are achievers, too.  Never ignore your child’s great art work if he shows it.  It builds his self-worth and confidence if parents become happy for them.  On the contrary, children may hate their parents if you don’t always pay attention to their efforts.  They will have the impression that their works are not important to you.  Wouldn’t that be hateful for the little ones?

      5.    Not doing what you teach.  Parents want their kids to be action doers but not for them.   This is one reason why children have the feelings of resentment.  They keep instructing their kids not to fight but aggressive blows are displayed by the father and mother.  Giving explanations is not helpful, showing your action does.   It is confusing for children not to fight if parents are quarrelsome and hate each other.  Kids view their parents as role models in every circumstance.

      Although parents have the goals to go the other mile but it’s more likely for children to hate their parents for the above valid reasons.   So express your love by trying to avoid things they hate and  dislike.  For sure, you can win them back and earn their respect!



      Children Hate their Parents: 5 Valid Reasons Why Children Dislike their Parents  is a post on  Modern Parenting Tips: Styles & Approach to Train & Discipline Children 



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