Parenting Styles: 3 Common Mistakes Parents Do to Discipline Children

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To discipline your child to behave can be a very long process which requires a lot of time, effort, patience, and strategies which simply can’t be done overnight. When done properly, it can be very rewarding and make life's relationship much easier for you, your child and your family.

3 common mistakes of parents


(1) Parents using one parenting style and applying it to children with a specific diagnosis like ADHD.  Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a behavioural disorder that is seen in early childhood. You may know it by the name attention deficit disorder ADD.  It makes it hard for people to slow down their impulsive responses that can involve all from movement to words to special treatment.

Children with ADHD or other forms of analysis will require you to adapt your parenting styles to benefit the child effectively. Punishing a child with ADHD, to discipline him, will not work if this is what you do in your parenting styles.

(2) Parents looking for the best forms of punishments to deter unwanted behaviours usually want a list of consequences they can use in such a situation. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. It usually tends to be case specific like when your child doesn’t wake up and get ready for school in the morning, you might want to make the child go to bed earlier. Although it solves part of the problem it doesn’t resolve it entirely. What you need are problem solving skills in your parenting styles, rather than consequences to have the right desired effect.

(3) While applying their parenting styles, they assume that punishing their children will rectify their child’s behavior.  You must have the right discipline strategies in place if you are going to teach your child how to behave with proven methods that work.


Here are some child discipline tips to stop your child from misbehaving.

1.   Lead by example and be a good role model for your children so they can follow the rules. They are easily influenced at this stage and mimic what is around them.

2.   Pay close attention to your child’s behaviour and take swift action if your child disobeys. It is recommended you give a verbal warning very quickly and implement a discipline plan to counteract this behaviour.

3.   Be firm with them and explain why you are doing this.

4.   You must remember children will always be pushing the boundaries no matter what stage of development they are at and you must follow through at all times.

5.   When your child upsets you, do not take it personally. If for example, they swear at you, take time out by calming down and leave the room.

6.   Next, devise a discipline strategy to rectify the problem.

To effectively solve problem behaviours, you need to think about what you are going to do with your parenting styles rather than being controlled by feelings. For instance, if kids don’t want to do their homework, you can actually do something about it by turning it into a game making it more fun for them.  If your child is studying history on Thanks Giving, why not turn it into a role play by you and them acting out certain events in Thanks Giving.

Lecturing about how they should respect you is not constructive as it won’t resolve or change their behaviour.

Set in place a structure and achievable goals that your kids can work on rather than talking at your children about how they should respect you. What you really need are discipline measures that involve setting limits as well as problem solving skills. You need to ask yourself what is the lesson you would like your child to learn. The lesson may not be a consequence.

"Parenting Styles: 3 Common Mistakes Parents Do when Disciplining Children" is written by Rhys Klu.  Rhys Klu has more ways to update your parenting styles, discipline children’s  behavioral problems, and improve your relationship.


Parenting Styles: 3 Common Mistakes Parents Do when Disciplining Children  is a post on  Modern Parenting Tips: Styles & Approach to Train & Discipline Children


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Children Parents Relationship -- Tips to Making Kids Feel Special

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Will your children suffer because they have a busy working mom? Will children be deprived of time and love? Is children-parents relationship one of the big family issues now? 

Many successful and happy people have been brought up by career moms. So having a busy mom is not a guarantee that children will be left unattended. What they do and don’t do will depend on the outcome of the children and parents relationship.  Parents should understand if a busy career becomes a stepping stone or a stumbling block that obstructs children parents relationship.

There’s no truth to say that children whose mom works are more deprived than those whose mom is inside the home.  Often, stay-at-home mothers are busy like anyone in this world.  If they feel guilty and worried that their children are deprived, most likely the children will feel the same.

No matter how hard it is to improve children and parent relationship, offer opportunities to progress and learn. Highlight on those opportunities to make the best of your present opportunities then make kids feel they’re special: 


Keys to Expressing Busy Mom’s Love

1.   Express your love through hugging and kissing.  It’s the fastest and easiest way to show your love.  No matter how hectic your schedules are, there is always time for this 4-second kisses and hugs.  Make it a significant kiss and tight embrace to both lift your spirits and improve your children parents relationship. 

2.   A hug and a kiss could be the most powerful action to stop bad behaviors.  Try this next time you feel exhausted or your kid’s whining.  Do this in the morning, when you go back home, a number of times in the evening, a warmer and longer one just before bed.  In children and parents relationship these are most needed.


Schedule Weekly Family Togetherness & Meeting 

1.   Thirty minutes each week is a little relationship time investment yet with huge payoffs.  Children feel they’re special when parents listen to them and when their ideas and suggestions are recognized.  This is the instant payoff.   

2.   The other payoff is that children and parents can resolve many day-to-day troubles and family issues during the meeting. Your children can help do morning and bedtime routines and show up creative manners of managing chores.  Modern children are much more willing to implement on plans they have helped create.

3.   The long-term payoff is that kids are trained for life and communication skills including problem solving skills. It takes less time to schedule weekly family meetings from which kids learn to assist and work out on relationships and problems.  On the contrary, it may create family issues when lecture, nag, and reprimand are given focus.

 
Ask for Children’s Help

Today, children and parents relationship is very crucial. What kids want is to feel needed by their parents.   It is much different when you ask for help in a nice way rather than reprimanding or lecturing. "I would be thankful for anything you can do to clean up the room before going to bed" is more effective than saying, "How many times did I tell you not to scatter all your stuff?" Kids feel good when they can help in their parent’s multi-tasking jobs. They don't feel special when they are being scolded and put down.
 

Give Short Special Notes

Write a 2-minute note for your child's pillow, lunch bag, or mirror.  One very busy mom made a decision to place a note inside the lunch bag of her daughter daily for one year.  While aboard on a plane, she would take time to write few notes such as “Every day, I think of you, I wish I were with you, I love you, Sweetie." She would give the notes to childcare person to put it in the lunch bag every day.  Her daughter felt incredibly special.

Being busy because of multi-tasking jobs should not be one of the family issues. Helping kids feel special is a matter of being creative in your children parents relationship.  It must involve a creative habit but not lack of time in relationship.  The benefits of doing it regularly is to ensure that your children feel they're very special!   

  
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