Showing posts with label Children Discipline. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Children Discipline. Show all posts

A Spoiled Child: 10 Signs That Your Child is Spoiled

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Signs your child is spoiled.
What are the signs to know that your child is spoiled?  Spoil me rotten! Many parents will say that they don’t spoil their child with unending amounts of hugging, rocking, holding, or cooing.  Over-indulgence can make a child spoiled especially when she has passed already her toddler years.  It is so simple to get the spoiled child on the playground and yet it’s much difficult to use a critical eye for us the parents.


Here are the top 10 signs of a spoiled child:

1.   Often, she’s throwing tantrums.  Whether at home or in public, a spoiled child frequently throws many tantrums, and would not care about the people watching around her.


2.   She always feels dissatisfied.  Generally, a spoiled child cannot express complete satisfaction with what she has.  If she sees a toy or something, she will still want to get it.

3.   A spoiled child is lazy to help and work.  Child normally doesn’t like to help in cleaning up or doing household chores.  But the moment a child has passed her toddler stage, she must be willing to help in the family like doing small tasks, and organizing or cleaning her own stuff.  

4.   She always wants to control her parents and other adults.  A spoiled child oftentimes will not delineate between her parents and peers.  She will always expect both of them to listen to her.

5.   Most of the times a spoiled child will make you feel angry and embarrassed in public.  There is always a mistake here and there.  If in case a child expressly embarrasses her mother or father in public just to look for attention, you better go to an isolated place.

6.   She doesn’t like to share.  Small toddlers find it hard to master the art of sharing and giving. However, if she reaches her 4th age, she must already be willing to share her stuff like toys and food, with other members of the family.  

7.   A spoiled child wants you to beg her.  A person in authority like the parents or caretaker should be followed by a child when giving a request to her.  There is no need for you to beg her to make the task done.

8.   She ignores you most of the time. A child does not want hearing a word like “no” but she’s not supposed to pay no attention to you when you’re talking to her.  She must learn to listen and do what you say.

9.   She cannot play by herself; she doesn’t want to play alone.  At the age of 4, a child must then be able to play and be willing to play on her own.  It demonstrates that she’s still in need of attention if she calls her parents and playmates to play with her.

10.  A spoiled child wants bribing. Parents are not supposed to bribe their children in doing their assignments or when performing some tasks.  Avoid bribing with toys, money, or treats just to get her finish what she’s doing.

Probably, the simplest thing parents can do to is to have a spoiled child, and it is more difficult if we learn to keep the child punished.  So put some limits to yourself to make things a lot easier.  Limitations will set boundaries to your kid’s every need and demand.  Allow yourself as parents to agree some limits with your children, and you’ll be amazed how these 10 signs that your child is spoiled will ultimately be over.

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Self-Discipline -- Helping Children Develop Self-Control

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Self-discipline is a procedure of training and educating children to acquire an acceptable behavior in varying circumstances.  The process is done by depriving privileges and seldom by imposing punishment.  This is the most important factor parents must do to shape a child's character.  It is also acquired through different trainings and activities. Unfortunately, self-control is a great character most children don't possess.


Teaching children self-control or self-discipline is a skill to encourage oneself to practice despite unfavorable conditions.  Some qualities related to it are hard work, perseverance, and will power. 


Characteristics of Self-Discipline

1.   It is a work.  A great example of self-discipline is portrayed in this story.  Deafening applause spread out the concert hall.  A young renowned pianist has just perfectly rendered his last piece of music.  A man from the audience got up his way through the stage to congratulate the musician.  At last he grasped his hand and uttered, “I would give all my own life just to play like that.”  The young pianist answered ‘I have done it that way, Sir!’”

It takes diligence, control and hard work before anything in this world is achieved.  All things in life is about work. It is important that children understand this.  They can’t just ask their parents or anyone to do something for them.  


If you hear your son complaining that learning to play a guitar is too difficult to do, remind him that the more he exerts efforts the easier it becomes.  Long patience, resilience, determination and self-control are all related to practicing self-discipline.

Avoid doing all things for the child.  Let him work at what is needed to control his impulses.  Don’t immediately gratify the child by buying him a toy he wants.  Train him to work for it, save money and to buy one for himself.

2.   It is a matter of choice.  Parents can always help their children stop developing bad habits through self-control.  During the early age, train the child to choose right actions.  Hitting a sibling is a choice to do not because of what has happened.  It’s a virtue to teach a child that nobody can make him mad.  He only becomes angry because he chooses to be angry.  As your child keeps learning self-discipline and control, he’ll have the full understanding that he’s the one in charge of his entire life.  When he fully understands this, he’s giving himself empowerment to boost further his self-control, capabilities and choices in life.

3.   It goes with a prize.  Self-discipline gives various rewards.  Imagine a child who does control himself and work hard on his studies to get “A.” Or a sporty son who rehearses consistent batting and scores a home run.  And how about a child who does not give revenge or beat his sibling? Does he deserve an appreciation from the parents?  In the same extent, all these deeds call for self-control and self-discipline to bring in great rewards. 

Explain to children that most of the rewards and success they earn are generated by self-discipline and self-control.   On the other hand, tell your child that not getting good grades can’t be blamed on a teacher.  Or, a sport’s failure can’t be anyone else’s failure.  It is the child who is responsible for the consequences simply because he has not applied self-discipline.

Self-discipline helps children to develop self-control to suppress their outbursts; it is never relying on people to control them.  That’s why children have no reason to harm themselves as well as others—physically or verbally.  Bear in mind that it is a trait every parent should teach to a child.  Self-discipline is about building up self-control.  

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Discipline: How Can Parents Teach Good Manners to their Children

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      Well it's again time to get a refresher course on discipline because the traditional manners your parents taught you are back in the track.  More mothers now are returning to old-schools just to be able to teach good manners to their children.

 

More surprising though most mothers give feedback that Dads are no longer in charge of discipline at home, giving only concentration on playing. Dads forget that they also have the responsibility to teach good manners to children. This has been happening over the last fifteen years.  While women of this generation have become more independent and stronger, they've ended up doing everything.  They are the only ones bringing up the kids while fathers have neglected their roles.  Women now have careers just like men.

To teach good manners to children should be about teamwork with moms. However, dads often get home late at night.  What most mothers want now is a return to the old-fashioned values of the former time because they see discipline and respect for authority eroded at school and in society.

Listed are some behavioral tips for mothers to teach good manners to their children. When we say mother, it is not only for mothers but for fathers also.  Here are what both of them should teach:

1)  Give clearer information

Instead of criticizing and embarrassing your child about his bad manners tell them how to behave and why. They need to know what good manners do.  Good manners are about making people feel at ease and comfortable with you.  Say for instance, It's good to flush your loo because it's nicer for the next person.

2) Tell it off later

Scolding your children for not saying 'thank you' or 'sorry' in public can rebound. If they have been embarrassed and felt resentful, either way they’ll do this:  they will disregard what are saying or they do something worse to gain more attention.  Keep your composure and discuss the matter with them later at home.

3) Sympathize with your child

For sure, your kid must have a valid reason for his bad behavior.  For example, he may have thrown away the magazines because someone grabbed his much-loved toy.  So try to discover how they feel about that also.  If parents sympathize with the child, they will teach the kid good manners and understand his feelings.  More often, this will encourage corrective behavior.

4) Say nice comments

One of the most effective ways to teach good manners to a child is by encouraging him when he does something good.  A person can create some nice comments for him when the child acts nicely.  If they hear you say, 'Thanks for the nice prayer, tomorrow you do the same before we eat our dinner.’  A child will be more motivated to repeat the same act.

5) Be precisely detailed

Rather than focusing on the bad manner your child may have done, point out on one action they did right, this is to help build their self-confidence.  For instance, 'I liked how you greeted and smiled at Mrs. Bridges when she came in.  Probably, next time you could say a warm ‘hello, Mrs. Bridges’ to her.

6) Immediate Praise

This is best during table manners.  On the part of the parents this may be hard, but ignore as much as you can any bad behavior and then give immediate praise when they stop.  If they are eating with their open mouth and producing terrible eating noise, give them attention only the moment they stop.  Once again, your control over your impulses is important in order to teach good manners to children.

7) Use right expectations only

Children are young and aren't adults.  What adult parents can do is precisely the opposite of what children can.   So it's obviously unfair to anticipate that they behave well. Parents must understand that it is unrealistic to sit them calmly for hours.  Nor can children be on their most well-behaved condition each time you entertain a visitor.

8) Be ready

An effective way to motivate right manners is to inform them on something beforehand. If a visitor is expected to come and you understand children may become bored, say, “It's important to feel comfortable, give a smile, say hi and converse for a few minutes.”

9) Seek for a child’s explanation

One of the practical tips to strengthen good manners and habits is to ask a child the answers for himself.   A child is likely to follow them through.  For example, if your little son has physically hurt a girl, ask him what he must do.  His suggestion could be to say “I’m sorry for what has happened.” 

10)   Don’t forget about consequences

If your child has done something wrong you can't ignore, you may intimidate consequences.   You carry them through if it is necessary. So if he keeps banging on a drum while adults are discussing, say that you’ll get rid of the drum if he goes on.

One of the best ways to teach good manners is by encouraging more your child when they do good things. Teaching them about manners involve both the husband and the wife.  With oneness of goal and techniques to carry out the common goal, it is not hard to raise and discipline children with good manners and behaviors.

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      Children Discipline: Why Toddlers Misbehave and What Should Parents Know

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      Your toddlers may misbehave; they don’t want to get dressed.  They show defiance every time you ask them to do something. Well, to bring up disciplined children is not about forcing them to do things.  Neither is it about spoiling and giving in to your toddlers.   

      Correct children discipline is all about a child learning to respect parents.  They should be more than willing to cooperate and behave well.  But what should parents do in these situations?


      First, let's get into the experimental psychology of little toddlers.  How can struggling parents help divert their toddler’s annoying behaviour from defiance to peaceful family relationship.  This way parents can understand better why most toddlers misbehave.

      Take note of this: To help little toddlers not misbehave, understand the world around them.  They should learn to test boundaries and limits.  At this stage they are just learning to walk and move progressively.  This is the reason why they are called ‘toddlers’—they are toddling around in the world. They are just initially learning the stage on how to step and stand on their feet.

      Toddlers will always misbehave for sure. They will test what are the limits and boundaries.  The moment they know the limits, they will feel comfortable within their boundary.  They can still carry on exploring but they feel more protected within these safe measures.

      Now, these are the reasons why it is unhealthy for parents either to be pliable or rigid.  On the process of reinforcing the rules, the limits and boundaries, be sure that you’re giving your toddlers ways to grow up as happy children.


      When Do Toddlers Misbehave?

      Parents, try to understand it that when toddlers misbehave, their behaviour is healthy and normal for their age.  If toddlers misbehave, there is a general indication that 1 out of these 3 things is taking place:

      First, toddlers are in need of something - perhaps they are stressed or experiencing some disconnections from parents.  Probably, they’re feeling hungry, want to pee, or they are faced with too much stimulation and they cannot relax enough.

      Second, toddlers are feeling stressed or anxious - when they are tense or stressed, they cannot think and relate properly.   Since part of children’s nervous systems are strained and stress hormones are activated, toddlers do act out compulsively and almost beyond their control.

      Third, toddlers just don’t know they’re doing it - perhaps they don't know the reason why there’s a need to get dressed.  Parents can explain them in the simplest way how to do it.  Let them understand that toddlers should not misbehave.  Their little understanding helps a lot.

      It is very hard to think, but toddlers misbehave not because they’re trying to be bad.  Toddlers are just doing the best they can with their limited skills.  Regardless of the reason, even the sweetest of toddlers misbehave badly at certain level.  But eventually they will outgrow this stage.


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      Discipline Challenge on Bad Behaviors: Why Children Always Ignore their Parents

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      It is too easy to fall into the habit of paying undue attention to the bad behaviors of children.  When parents are faced with discipline challenge they become naggers, constantly correcting children’s action.   Obviously this is not helping them to feel good about themselves. 

      Parents feel surprised when even very young kids tune them out and don’t listen. They just ignore what their parents are saying.  Kids pout and act allergic to their parents.  These rejecting bad behaviors make sense, don’t they?  As adults, don’t we try to avoid people who regularly criticize us?  Kids, too, feel exactly what adults feel.  They feel bad if they are not treated with respect.     

      It is smarter, then, to use our energy to look for and to reinforce our children’s positive actions.  If we constantly point out what they are doing right, we will help them feel proud of themselves.  On the contrary, you shrink the little self-worth they have if you scold them often.


      Stressful Discipline Situations

      Nerve-racking discipline moments might find us losing our own self-control.  Parents become ineffective when they contribute to the chaos.  The minute parents recognize the bad behaviors, they should slow down, calm down, and allow the more mature self to take over.  It is worth a few minutes to find constructive ways to cope with bad behaviors and apply right discipline.

      Initially, kids cannot be left on their own to find solutions to problems about discipline challenge.  Kids need their parents as role models.  Parents need to be active participants in helping kids to clearly see family issues and to have constructive solutions. 


      FAQ to Meet Discipline Challenge

      Our answers to the following questions will help parents meet discipline challenge in the most effective way parents can:    

           1.   Is this a problem or a challenge?   A Challenge.

           2.   What’s the goal of your discipline?  Self-discipline

           3.   Is discipline for punishment or for change?  For change

           4.   Is discipline something we do to or with children?   With

           5.   Are we treating our children the way we hope they will treat us and others?  Yes

      It might be a good idea to have these questions written on index cards in several different rooms.   When we need them, they will be handy to help your move open to a positive discipline path.

      What kids learn and successfully use during one stage of development may need to be learned in slightly new ways during another stage.   Each new phase of development builds in the preceding foundation.  With parent’s help, children will begin to look upon difficult situations as challenges and will view themselves as adept problem-solvers.

      When bad behaviors have been resolved, parents and kids feel relieved and want to forget that a conflict ever happened.  Later, it is important to review what happened and to congratulate each other over the positive resolutions.

      Remember these successful discipline interactions could help parents and children find ways to meeting the next discipline challenge.  More importantly, as parents help their children to recognize bad behaviors and success, they contribute to their feelings of positive self-esteem.    



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        Why Children Misbehave -- Bad Behaviors Require Parents’ Non-Reaction

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        Want to know, parents, the real secrets of having happy kids? And what to do when children misbehave? There are a couple of factors to consider and to deal with bad behaviors:  Love and Non-Reaction of parents.

        This is how it goes when kids misbehave:  Expressing love alone is not enough to bring up a good and a happy child.  If love alone is the answer to resolve your kids' bad behaviors, then there would be no more disobedient, stubborn, and defying kids.  Kids misbehave because they lack information, lack some needs, and have some tensions.  


        Aside from showing love, it is parents’ “NON-REACTION” that is required to cope with a child’s bad behaviors. One important parenting style to include is for parents to develop "Non-Reaction" response.  It is simple and yet many parents fall short of this category.  It simply means you ignore their bad behaviors when kids misbehave.  If you talk and react, the more bad behaviors kids are likely to display.


        Non-reaction to Kid's Bad Behaviors

        Webster's dictionary defines reaction as: "opposition or resistance to a force, influence, or action."  Another meaning which is more related to parents is an exhaustion or depressive condition because of exerting too much energy or stimulation. The second line is very familiar to most parents when confronted with bad behaviors, isn’t it?

        Basically, a reaction is happening when two opposite forces have a collision. In the case of a family the two powerful forces are generally parents and kids.  If this happens, the outcome of bad behaviors is usually an  exhausted parent and a  miserable kid.


        Kids as Winners, Parents as Losers

        If you react to bad behaviors during the moments children misbehave, you as a parent are the loser.  No parents have ever won over their child’s bad behaviors.  It’s very ineffective to discipline them when they are angry, tensed, and misbehaving.

        Rather than showing reactions, parents should keep calm and be aware of what's actually behind their kids' bad behaviors.  Let them realize no matter how much they cry, this action makes no sense to you.  This happens if you show non-reaction when they show off bad behaviors.


        The Benefits

        If this is so, then the struggling going on between you and your child is almost over.  Although children will misbehave again, it won’t and cannot bother you anymore.  Their sorts of bad behaviors have no effects to you.  Although kids misbehave, their bad behaviors are not big issues.  This simply means you win and the child loses.

        After this scenario, and when the child has calm down,  put end to your struggle by carefully explaining to him why there’s no need for children to misbehave.  This is the best time for you to explain it.  Surely, the child will listen and understand your explanation.

        In conclusion, when children misbehave and display bad behaviors, avoid giving reactions to their actions.   Talk to them when both of you have calmed down.  Ears and minds are at their ultimate functions to receive information when kids are not misbehaving or showing bad behaviors.

        The next time children misbehave, parents should avoid showing reactions to it.  Parents can see that there are amazing results once bad behaviors are ignored!


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            Parenting : How to Train & Discipline Children in This Modern World

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            Children training and discipline is a parenting theme that has been angrily discussed in current years.   A great deal of this reason came from the term 'discipline.’ This displays a portrait of difficult and cruel punishment in the minds of most parents.  Undeniably, the dispute has made many parents of today to choose and accept a parenting approach that is “extremely permissive.”

            We all need training and discipline in our lives.  However, parents have to know what is good and bad behavior, and what things to do and not to do.  We also recognize that there are lots of things in life to do, even if we don't want to.

            What to Do in Training and Discipline

            1.   Truth is none of us is born with self discipline and training.  This is something our kids have to learn early and regularly.  As for the parents, appropriate training and discipline must be something they should know first in order to teach their children.

            2.   One lesson parents have to find out is that training and disciplining kids is done individually. Remember also that one parenting style that works for a child does not essentially become suitable with another child.

            3.   Parenting styles should help to realize that training and discipline requires a link to a child's degree of understanding. In most part, this is a role of age.  But remember each child develops at different rates.   So it’s crucial that kids' needs are to be taken into consideration.

            4.   Any response to bad behavior has to be fitting to the age of children.  Response given in training and discipline should be effective for the individual child. Understand why there is a misbehavior--mostly, kids are in need of missing attention that's why they do it.

            5.   Children training and discipline is not all the time acceptable if it only highlights punishments.  For kids this isn’t going to work.  Teaching them a lesson will always go a long way; imposing punishment will scare them.  However the training and discipline lesson parents are teaching them is not well understood. 

            6.   If a parent is angry while training and disciplining the child, the kid comprehends not the lesson but the anger.  It's the anger which is very exhausting but not helpful that instilled in the mind of a child.


            Applying Logical Consequences

            Alternatively, the use of “logical consequences”--proven to be an effective form of training and discipline--won’t require lots of emotional energy on parents. This makes sense to children, too.  Our kids don't need punishment but unconditional love. What punishment, in any form, cannot do to the kids, love will always do.  Try to link discipline and training to a logical or natural flow.  Thus, it enables parents to choose the most suitable type of children training and discipline.  

            Learn this, parents: Our kids are given to us for protection and love.  Along this is the parenting responsibility to raise them the right way.  It 's our role to figure out the best parenting approach to apply.  It starts with loving them unconditionally. The training and discipline you give should always involve in loving and not hurting. No matter what, they deserve to be loved and respected like adults. This is what parents are called for.


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            Parenting Styles: 3 Common Mistakes Parents Do to Discipline Children

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            To discipline your child to behave can be a very long process which requires a lot of time, effort, patience, and strategies which simply can’t be done overnight. When done properly, it can be very rewarding and make life's relationship much easier for you, your child and your family.

            3 common mistakes of parents


            (1) Parents using one parenting style and applying it to children with a specific diagnosis like ADHD.  Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a behavioural disorder that is seen in early childhood. You may know it by the name attention deficit disorder ADD.  It makes it hard for people to slow down their impulsive responses that can involve all from movement to words to special treatment.

            Children with ADHD or other forms of analysis will require you to adapt your parenting styles to benefit the child effectively. Punishing a child with ADHD, to discipline him, will not work if this is what you do in your parenting styles.

            (2) Parents looking for the best forms of punishments to deter unwanted behaviours usually want a list of consequences they can use in such a situation. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. It usually tends to be case specific like when your child doesn’t wake up and get ready for school in the morning, you might want to make the child go to bed earlier. Although it solves part of the problem it doesn’t resolve it entirely. What you need are problem solving skills in your parenting styles, rather than consequences to have the right desired effect.

            (3) While applying their parenting styles, they assume that punishing their children will rectify their child’s behavior.  You must have the right discipline strategies in place if you are going to teach your child how to behave with proven methods that work.


            Here are some child discipline tips to stop your child from misbehaving.

            1.   Lead by example and be a good role model for your children so they can follow the rules. They are easily influenced at this stage and mimic what is around them.

            2.   Pay close attention to your child’s behaviour and take swift action if your child disobeys. It is recommended you give a verbal warning very quickly and implement a discipline plan to counteract this behaviour.

            3.   Be firm with them and explain why you are doing this.

            4.   You must remember children will always be pushing the boundaries no matter what stage of development they are at and you must follow through at all times.

            5.   When your child upsets you, do not take it personally. If for example, they swear at you, take time out by calming down and leave the room.

            6.   Next, devise a discipline strategy to rectify the problem.

            To effectively solve problem behaviours, you need to think about what you are going to do with your parenting styles rather than being controlled by feelings. For instance, if kids don’t want to do their homework, you can actually do something about it by turning it into a game making it more fun for them.  If your child is studying history on Thanks Giving, why not turn it into a role play by you and them acting out certain events in Thanks Giving.

            Lecturing about how they should respect you is not constructive as it won’t resolve or change their behaviour.

            Set in place a structure and achievable goals that your kids can work on rather than talking at your children about how they should respect you. What you really need are discipline measures that involve setting limits as well as problem solving skills. You need to ask yourself what is the lesson you would like your child to learn. The lesson may not be a consequence.

            "Parenting Styles: 3 Common Mistakes Parents Do when Disciplining Children" is written by Rhys Klu.  Rhys Klu has more ways to update your parenting styles, discipline children’s  behavioral problems, and improve your relationship.


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            Tips on Training Children to Earn Money Online

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            Young people and children in today’s time, have their unique demands for life and money.  Teenagers love the latest ipods, costly gadgets, laptops and netbooks.  However, most middle-class parents cannot afford these excessive demands.  There are some kids who know that it’s not good for them to ask for all things from parents.  To cope with these demands, what options can our children have to earn money online?

            Nowadays, earning money online is possible for the young  kids.  As they face their computers for one to two hours each day, they can create certain amounts for their allowance and pocket money.   This process is helpful to fulfilling their money needs.  Just like adults, kids are also smart to make money using today's technology and Internet: 

            How to Start Earning Money

            1.     There are lots of sites in the net just for watching some videos online.  Every watched video adds money to their account.  One site could be the paid2youtube.com where kids can produce money simply by watching videos.  Also they can invite their fellow children to that site.  It may not be a lucrative option to earn money, but in the long-run it will increase the earnings.  

            2.     Kids love to do internet surfing, and they can easily surf many gaming sites online.  They can play their much-loved games and with every win, they get money for themselves.  In addition, there are sites that provide referral commission for every recommended friend to join the group.

            3.     Skilled children can earn money online by giving their services.  Freelancing is a good option if writing is their hobby or pastime.  It’s not only writing but also providing basic help for new bloggers.  This job is good for children to boost their self-worth and confidence.

            4.     Uploading files can be another option for the kids.  This has been existing for quite a number of years now.  Most kids are knowledgeable in music, video, and image uploading and they receive income with each downloaded file.

            5.    Using Online Surveys or Traffic Exchangers.  What to do with these online surveys?  Kids can just fill out forms with some details, complete them, and that’s it.  With each filled out form, kids receive certain amount.

            These tips on earning money online are decent ways of generating income.  It’s done by spending few hours in front of a PC each day.  You can search for as many websites as you need in the Internet.  So do you want your kids start earning money online for themselves?  Try them now! 



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