Showing posts with label Bad Behaviors. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bad Behaviors. Show all posts

Discipline Challenge on Bad Behaviors: Why Children Always Ignore their Parents

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It is too easy to fall into the habit of paying undue attention to the bad behaviors of children.  When parents are faced with discipline challenge they become naggers, constantly correcting children’s action.   Obviously this is not helping them to feel good about themselves. 

Parents feel surprised when even very young kids tune them out and don’t listen. They just ignore what their parents are saying.  Kids pout and act allergic to their parents.  These rejecting bad behaviors make sense, don’t they?  As adults, don’t we try to avoid people who regularly criticize us?  Kids, too, feel exactly what adults feel.  They feel bad if they are not treated with respect.     

It is smarter, then, to use our energy to look for and to reinforce our children’s positive actions.  If we constantly point out what they are doing right, we will help them feel proud of themselves.  On the contrary, you shrink the little self-worth they have if you scold them often.


Stressful Discipline Situations

Nerve-racking discipline moments might find us losing our own self-control.  Parents become ineffective when they contribute to the chaos.  The minute parents recognize the bad behaviors, they should slow down, calm down, and allow the more mature self to take over.  It is worth a few minutes to find constructive ways to cope with bad behaviors and apply right discipline.

Initially, kids cannot be left on their own to find solutions to problems about discipline challenge.  Kids need their parents as role models.  Parents need to be active participants in helping kids to clearly see family issues and to have constructive solutions. 


FAQ to Meet Discipline Challenge

Our answers to the following questions will help parents meet discipline challenge in the most effective way parents can:    

     1.   Is this a problem or a challenge?   A Challenge.

     2.   What’s the goal of your discipline?  Self-discipline

     3.   Is discipline for punishment or for change?  For change

     4.   Is discipline something we do to or with children?   With

     5.   Are we treating our children the way we hope they will treat us and others?  Yes

It might be a good idea to have these questions written on index cards in several different rooms.   When we need them, they will be handy to help your move open to a positive discipline path.

What kids learn and successfully use during one stage of development may need to be learned in slightly new ways during another stage.   Each new phase of development builds in the preceding foundation.  With parent’s help, children will begin to look upon difficult situations as challenges and will view themselves as adept problem-solvers.

When bad behaviors have been resolved, parents and kids feel relieved and want to forget that a conflict ever happened.  Later, it is important to review what happened and to congratulate each other over the positive resolutions.

Remember these successful discipline interactions could help parents and children find ways to meeting the next discipline challenge.  More importantly, as parents help their children to recognize bad behaviors and success, they contribute to their feelings of positive self-esteem.    



    Why Children Misbehave -- Bad Behaviors Require Parents’ Non-Reaction

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    Want to know, parents, the real secrets of having happy kids? And what to do when children misbehave? There are a couple of factors to consider and to deal with bad behaviors:  Love and Non-Reaction of parents.

    This is how it goes when kids misbehave:  Expressing love alone is not enough to bring up a good and a happy child.  If love alone is the answer to resolve your kids' bad behaviors, then there would be no more disobedient, stubborn, and defying kids.  Kids misbehave because they lack information, lack some needs, and have some tensions.  


    Aside from showing love, it is parents’ “NON-REACTION” that is required to cope with a child’s bad behaviors. One important parenting style to include is for parents to develop "Non-Reaction" response.  It is simple and yet many parents fall short of this category.  It simply means you ignore their bad behaviors when kids misbehave.  If you talk and react, the more bad behaviors kids are likely to display.


    Non-reaction to Kid's Bad Behaviors

    Webster's dictionary defines reaction as: "opposition or resistance to a force, influence, or action."  Another meaning which is more related to parents is an exhaustion or depressive condition because of exerting too much energy or stimulation. The second line is very familiar to most parents when confronted with bad behaviors, isn’t it?

    Basically, a reaction is happening when two opposite forces have a collision. In the case of a family the two powerful forces are generally parents and kids.  If this happens, the outcome of bad behaviors is usually an  exhausted parent and a  miserable kid.


    Kids as Winners, Parents as Losers

    If you react to bad behaviors during the moments children misbehave, you as a parent are the loser.  No parents have ever won over their child’s bad behaviors.  It’s very ineffective to discipline them when they are angry, tensed, and misbehaving.

    Rather than showing reactions, parents should keep calm and be aware of what's actually behind their kids' bad behaviors.  Let them realize no matter how much they cry, this action makes no sense to you.  This happens if you show non-reaction when they show off bad behaviors.


    The Benefits

    If this is so, then the struggling going on between you and your child is almost over.  Although children will misbehave again, it won’t and cannot bother you anymore.  Their sorts of bad behaviors have no effects to you.  Although kids misbehave, their bad behaviors are not big issues.  This simply means you win and the child loses.

    After this scenario, and when the child has calm down,  put end to your struggle by carefully explaining to him why there’s no need for children to misbehave.  This is the best time for you to explain it.  Surely, the child will listen and understand your explanation.

    In conclusion, when children misbehave and display bad behaviors, avoid giving reactions to their actions.   Talk to them when both of you have calmed down.  Ears and minds are at their ultimate functions to receive information when kids are not misbehaving or showing bad behaviors.

    The next time children misbehave, parents should avoid showing reactions to it.  Parents can see that there are amazing results once bad behaviors are ignored!


    Why Children Misbehave -- Bad Behaviors Require Parents’ Non-Reaction  is posted on  Modern Parenting Tips: Styles & Approach to Train & Discipline Children


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