Showing posts with label Children Misbehave. Show all posts

Children’s Misbehavior: Understanding Punishments on Children

Posted in Labels: Children, Children Misbehave, Discipline, Parents, punishments on children

Sickness and Symptoms

Children’s misbehavior is not a body sickness, but oftentimes placing punishments on children will cause physical and emotional scars. The cause of this sickness is by imposing punishment, rather than right discipline. Most average families have experienced some early warning symptoms about this condition.

While every abuse uses a form of punishment, not all is abusive. This does not state that a slight punishment works or is okay. Punishments are based on the conviction that kids should suffer in order to learn a few lessons.

Warning signs are most obvious in people who have power to control their kids—the parents. Often, parents think that punishments on children will balance their parenting style. Parents can use physical suffering although parents are not abusive. The truth is punishments on children don’t teach well; they just hurt. If parents impose suffering, it makes learning more difficult and builds resentment toward the anguishing kids.

Punishments on Children

All forms of punishment can result to emotional and physical damage on kids. The harm might not be noticeable, like physical bruises, but deep rooted emotional scars will last for a lifetime.

Punishments on children may involve physical pain: spanking, beating, squeezing, dragging, pushing or kicking. They can also involve scolding using hurtful verbal words. Punishments use blame, warn, shame, or threat on kids.

Punishments on children usually last long and it’s very unfair to our kids to take them all. Often, parents use them whether they are related to a child's misbehavior or not. When hurt and angry, parents always use punishments as tools to retaliate.

Punishment is a silent destroyer. Often it does work and parents get a quick fix. Instead of learning how to behave well, it makes kids feel afraid of what will happen if they misbehave.

Over time, punishments on children are no longer effective. Many kids become immune to them. They tend to misbehave when parents are not around. Kids may not develop right discipline but the “I-don't-care” attitude. Kids believe it is normal to do misbehavior as long as parents don't know it.

The Cure

All abusive people have been maltreated by someone. Mostly, punishments came from their parents. Being abusive is a learned behavior. Fortunately, not all abused kids grow up to be punishing parents. They make a better choice—to cure it.

The cure for harmful punishments involves all parents around the globe. We need to re-learn the way we think as far as disciplining our children is concerned. We need to replace harmful punishments on children with views that are healthy and positive. Learn some effective parenting discipline skills.

When parents use punishments on children, they must be logically related to the act of misbehavior and not on the child. Instead of making the child suffer, the focus is on fixing the mistake to prevent it from happening again in the future. Parents should help children learn how to practice self-discipline and not blind obedience.

Children's Misbehavior: Understanding Punishments on Children is a blog post on Modern Parenting Tips: Styles & Approach to Train & Discipline Children

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Children Hate their Parents: 5 Valid Reasons Why Children Dislike their Parents

Posted in Labels: Children, Children Hate their Parents, Children Misbehave, Discipline, Discipline Challenge, Hate, Parents, Relationship

While there are many things parents don’t like about their kids, there are also valid reasons why children hate their parents. It is illogical for parents who perceive that they are the only ones doing right and their kids are always the ones doing wrong. Effective parenting is a two-sided relationship. Both parents and children must work hand in hand in order to make their relationship grow. There should be no opportunity to provoke and hate one another.

In this modern generation, one of the family issues is that kids don’t anymore respect their mothers and fathers--they hate them. But how about us, are we aware that we should also respect and not hate our kids? Often, parents complain about their children’s acts of stubbornness and disobedience. Consequently, kids can hardly respect their parents and they tend to hate them instead. Truth is many parents overlook their responsibility of nurturing their kids in caring ways. They only see the authority they use to controlling them. This sounds unfair for the kids, doesn't it?

Basis why Children may Hate Parents

1. Over-protection does more harm than good. Allow your child to discover new things on his own. Over-loving parents tend to over-protect their children in many ways--this can make kids to hate them. Keep in mind that while a child continues to grow, he attempts to discover many things around him. All kids have this natural inclination. For younger boys, climbing up a small tree excites them. You can provide useful tips on how to climb safely rather than restricting him. So when the child climbs up again, he knows there are precautions to take. Children could hate a parent who is over-protective.

2. Unfulfilled promises. There are situations that parents do promise things for their children. The kids with all their efforts do their part. When time comes, parents provide lots of excuses to break their promises. If this happens, young kids may begin to hate them. They won’t be convinced anymore that you can still keep your promise. These unfulfilled promises are instilled in the child’s mind. It is a hurtful experience when the people they trust can't keep their words.

3. Frequent scolding is hateful. You break their heart if you respond negatively while attempting to offer their help. Kids want to please us in some small ways they can do, but how we ignore and hate their efforts. Worse, they get unreasonably scolded rather than being appreciated and praised. A husband and a wife are responsible to guide them into doing things right, not to verbally hate them when they create mistakes. Be realistic that kids are too young to live by their parents’ standards. Illogical anger is one thing kids hate about their parents. Parenting skills know how to discipline children without yelling and reprimanding.

4. Paying no attention. There are times kids want to be proud of their own accomplishments. They want their parents to get their approval and that they are achievers, too. Never ignore your child’s great art work if he shows it. It builds his self-worth and confidence if parents become happy for them. On the contrary, children may hate their parents if you don’t always pay attention to their efforts. They will have the impression that their works are not important to you. Wouldn’t that be hateful for the little ones?

5. Not doing what you teach. Parents want their kids to be action doers but not for them. This is one reason why children have the feelings of resentment. They keep instructing their kids not to fight but aggressive blows are displayed by the father and mother. Giving explanations is not helpful, showing your action does. It is confusing for children not to fight if parents are quarrelsome and hate each other. Kids view their parents as role models in every circumstance.

Although parents have the goals to go the other mile but it’s more likely for children to hate their parents for the above valid reasons. So express your love by trying to avoid things they hate and dislike. For sure, you can win them back and earn their respect!

Children Hate their Parents: 5 Valid Reasons Why Children Dislike their Parents is a post on Modern Parenting Tips: Styles & Approach to Train & Discipline Children

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Why Children Misbehave -- Bad Behaviors Require Parents’ Non-Reaction

Posted in Labels: Bad Behaviors, Children, Children Discipline, Children Misbehave, Discipline, Parents

Want to know, parents, the real secrets of having happy kids? And what to do when children misbehave? There are a couple of factors to consider and to deal with bad behaviors: Love and Non-Reaction of parents.

This is how it goes when kids misbehave: Expressing love alone is not enough to bring up a good and a happy child. If love alone is the answer to resolve your kids' bad behaviors, then there would be no more disobedient, stubborn, and defying kids. Kids misbehave because they lack information, lack some needs, and have some tensions.

Aside from showing love, it is parents’ “NON-REACTION” that is required to cope with a child’s bad behaviors. One important parenting style to include is for parents to develop "Non-Reaction" response. It is simple and yet many parents fall short of this category. It simply means you ignore their bad behaviors when kids misbehave. If you talk and react, the more bad behaviors kids are likely to display.

Non-reaction to Kid's Bad Behaviors

Webster's dictionary defines reaction as: "opposition or resistance to a force, influence, or action." Another meaning which is more related to parents is an exhaustion or depressive condition because of exerting too much energy or stimulation. The second line is very familiar to most parents when confronted with bad behaviors, isn’t it?

Basically, a reaction is happening when two opposite forces have a collision. In the case of a family the two powerful forces are generally parents and kids. If this happens, the outcome of bad behaviors is usually an exhausted parent and a miserable kid.

Kids as Winners, Parents as Losers

If you react to bad behaviors during the moments children misbehave, you as a parent are the loser. No parents have ever won over their child’s bad behaviors. It’s very ineffective to discipline them when they are angry, tensed, and misbehaving.

Rather than showing reactions, parents should keep calm and be aware of what's actually behind their kids' bad behaviors. Let them realize no matter how much they cry, this action makes no sense to you. This happens if you show non-reaction when they show off bad behaviors.

The Benefits

If this is so, then the struggling going on between you and your child is almost over. Although children will misbehave again, it won’t and cannot bother you anymore. Their sorts of bad behaviors have no effects to you. Although kids misbehave, their bad behaviors are not big issues. This simply means you win and the child loses.

After this scenario, and when the child has calm down, put end to your struggle by carefully explaining to him why there’s no need for children to misbehave. This is the best time for you to explain it. Surely, the child will listen and understand your explanation.

In conclusion, when children misbehave and display bad behaviors, avoid giving reactions to their actions. Talk to them when both of you have calmed down. Ears and minds are at their ultimate functions to receive information when kids are not misbehaving or showing bad behaviors.

The next time children misbehave, parents should avoid showing reactions to it. Parents can see that there are amazing results once bad behaviors are ignored!

Why Children Misbehave -- Bad Behaviors Require Parents’ Non-Reaction is posted on Modern Parenting Tips: Styles & Approach to Train & Discipline Children

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