Sid in the City: March 2009

Sham Wowch!

The room - $750.00
The hooker - $1,000.00
The result - Priceless

$1,750.00 just to get bite marks on your tongue.
Only the Sham Wow guy could pull this one off.

Sham Wow

News Link: Sham Wow Guy Busted

Update
We're guessing he didn't use a Sham Wow to clean up the blood,
because it doesn't even clean up all the cola it's supposed to,
as evidenced in this video report -

Video Link: Sham Wow Scam

Labels: Celebrities

A Stimulating Stimulus Deal

Xytex International, one of the oldest sperm banks in the US,
has an offer for clients who may be feeling the economic crunch.

For those in the market, a vial of Standard wriggly
little swimmers can cost up to $500.

For those who are a little hard pressed,
you can now get Select models for a couple hundred bucks less.

No loss in quality, according to Xytex,
but we have to wonder if they're really the good ones,
not some off-brand or generic substitute.

Sperm Bank

News Link: Sperm Bank offers Stimulus Deal

Labels: Science

Dick Tracy goes to court

The Tribune was one of the largest papers in the country,
and has published the Dick Tracy comic strip for as long as most can remember,
but the paper has fallen on hard times, and filed for bankruptcy last year.

Someone [a lawyer or accountant we're guessing]remembered that Warren Beatty
had purchased TV and Film rights to the character, but hadn't exercised those
rights since the Dick Tracy movie hit the big screen in 1990.

So now the Tribune is claiming that since Beatty has made no productive use
of the Dick Tracy rights, those rights should revert back to the paper.

Everybody is scrambling for a buck these days...

Dick Tracy

News Link: Tribune sues Warren Beatty

Labels: Celebrities

Letterman gets hitched

Yes folks, it's true.
After a 23 year courtship, David Letterman married Regina Lasko last week,
and he walked 2 miles to do it.

Another one bites the dust...

Letterman Gets Married

News Link: Letterman marries longtime girlfriend

Labels: Celebrities

True Confessions

There are places online where people confess their sins,
where they tell their deepest darkest secrets.
We're not sure why, but they do.

A twist on this is search engine data,
where you can be confessing without realizing it.

People don't fill out surveys like they used to anymore,
telemarketers are stymied by Do Not Call lists,
but everything you type into a search engine box
is saved, scrutinized, and analyzed.
And sold... did we forget sold?

It's called targeted marketing, in case you didn't know.
Those ads that pop up on your screen are no longer random.
You've confessed you're on a diet by searching for that word.
That young lady that pops up with the cute sexy smile
may be a clue that you've peeked at a porn site.

The news link below has some interesting stats,
like the average visit to an adult site is about six minutes.

Did we hear you ladies say that's about par for the course... [smirk].

News Link: Confessing Online

Labels: Privacy

Printing free money

That's what the government started doing this past week,
but it's not really free of course.

The Bailout Proposals have surpassed the trillion dollar mark.
That's a number with 12 zeros behind it.
14 if you count the loose change.
$1,000,000,000,000.00

To pay for these proposals, the Treasury is printing more money.
Why?
Because the Fed is borrowing it from the Treasury.
Got that?

We are borrowing from ourselves, to pay ourselves,
and we, and our children, and their children,
will be paying for a long long time.

It's a classic primer for runaway inflation.
Alllll Aboard... the train is about to careen out of control.

News Link: How much is a Trillion?

Labels: It's the Economy stupid

Offering the Olive Branch to Iran

President Obama tried to open the door to negotiations with Iran yesterday,
saying "My administration is now committed to diplomacy".

Ayatollah Khamenei, spiritual leader of the country,
told him in so many words to Stuff It.

What a shocker...

News Link: Iran dismisses Obama's peace offering

Labels: Middle East

Enough boinking already

The Pope has reaffirmed his position that condoms
will not help in the fight against AIDS.

He made this declaration in Africa today,
where 25 million have already died.
and another 22 million are infected.