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Sibling Rivalry: What Mistakes Parents Do and How to Help Older Sibling

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Siblings who may view themselves as enemies are obviously having a hard time getting along with each other.  This growing sibling rivalry may become a major problem among families. Fighting and disagreements don’t just stop in childhood stage.  This condition may become worse as sibling rivalry continues to grow until they reach the adulthood life. 

Opposition against each other is a never-ending issue in a family relationship.  Consequently, a sibling rivalry gives stress and pressures to the children as well as to the parents.

Dealing with sibling rivalry

Many children can immediately adjust to a new member of the family.  However, their disagreeing relationship may still continue and this is a normal phenomenon. Parents may worsen the situation as they put more time and attention to the other child. Time and care is divided and the new child certainly gets more devotion compared to the older one. The older child is expected to see the changes and start feeling jealous.  Over time, he starts to feel he’s ousted. This becomes the substance of a budding sibling rivalry.

What mistakes parents do?

1.   Paying no attention to the severe sibling rivalry and taking such as a normal condition.

2.   Not training both kids to resolve fights.

3.   Failing to demonstrate right skills in coping with sibling rivalry.

4.   Regularly taking sides.  One child receives more favor over the other.

5.  Unreasonable expectations from the older child.

6.  Reprimanding the older child more often due to rivalry.

7.  Too much spoiling or cuddling of the younger child.   

8.  No consistent attention, support, caring for the older child.

9.  Failing to teach anger management, self-control and long patience.

10. Frequently putting all the blame on the older child without valid reasons.

Helping to adjust sibling rivalry

What parents should do in order to cope with potential rivalry?  They are to encourage the older child to get involved in the younger child’s life starting from birth onwards.

Prior to birth, get the participation of the older child in order to avoid the advent of sibling rivalry.  Give simple responsibilities such organizing the baby’s toys, clothes, crib, pictures, etc.  Read fun and interesting books—about waiting for a new baby—that will excite the child.

Once the new sibling is born, parents should increase the amount of responsibility given to the older child: to love, hug, and kiss the newborn.  Teach him to consider the needs and feelings of the new sibling.  Help him comfort the baby and be nice to him always to resolve sibling rivalry.

How should parents mediate?

Parents play an important role is dealing with the serious sibling rivalry.  Quarreling children may also result to severe emotional IQ that deals with psychological and social behaviors. So as they fight, parents can use this opportunity to train them to face and resolve the issues. 

Use sibling rivalry to help them solve disagreements, assert themselves properly, and manage bad emotions.  This situation will be good opportunities to appreciate the other sibling’s perspective and to sympathize with him.  Sibling rivalry would have been developed into a bad habit if parents had not intervened in their lives. If the conflict is not solved immediately, it will have a bad effect on the social life of the child—in school and community.

In conclusion, sibling rivalry has a great craving for love and attention from parents.  You can address the needs of your older child by not closing your eyes to him.  Keep on spending special times as much as you do with his new sibling.  Continue to provide unconditional love, routines and activities you used to have before.  Out of this sibling rivalry should both of them learn values, respect, self- control, and conquering impulses. Parents should do something about the fighting kids or sibling rivalry will last for a lifetime.

Sibling Rivalry: What Mistakes Parents Do and How to Help Older Sibling   is a post on Modern Parenting Tips: Styles & Approach to Train & Discipline Children

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Effective Verbal Praise: When and How to Use it to Your Child

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There are lots of parents who have ineffectively used some rewards or tokens for a genuine verbal praise.  In general, any tangible reward cannot truly match the importance of an effective verbal praise to children.  A child feels that a sincere praise can help him internalize his personal reward system.  It helps him stop from attempting to work only for the external prize.  To make it effective, a verbal praise should be specifically given at the right time.

Tips to Effective Verbal Praise

1.   Make it precise and specific.  Don’t just say “son, you did a great job in Math.” Rather, it is more effective to say, “I’ve seen how you managed to score 14 over 15 in Math problem solving.  You’ve been improving a lot in your lessons of fraction and percentage.”  When your child comes home and shows you an art work, you can say, “I am impressed the way you put different colors together.  They make perfect combinations in your portrait.”  Don’t just say, “It’s beautiful.”  Through this effective verbal praise, a child will understand what precisely he has done great.  Your effective verbal description will help a child feel good about himself.   

2.   Focus on the child himself.  When giving praise, don’t just focus on the action displayed but rather on the child himself.  For example, to earn a “B” is great achievement but to praise the child’s “diligence” is much more important than what he earned.   Praising an act of “long patience” is far better than being able to cope with annoyance. Don’t make the child feel good about a task only—like a dog trained to dance.  Give an effective verbal praise for being a friendly child, for going to school before time, or being helpful in household chores.  It simply means a child needs the approval of parents about the positive characteristics. Highlight more on the character traits you think your child must develop and not on the action being done. 

3.   Be sure to give the effective verbal praise suitable to his age.  Toddlers would require more praises that older children.  But as children grow, they are inclined to get annoyed with same praises over and over again.  They know for a reason that at their age these things are what children should be doing already.  So as they continue to grow, be choosy to find a more effective verbal praise and how frequent you need to say it.  Gradually, you can improve your praises according to their age. By doing it, the child is getting more equipped to function as a better responsible person.

4.   Don’t ignore the value of non-verbal cues.  There are times you want to convey effective verbal praise to your children but they are not close enough to receive your praise.  During such time, give the importance of signals or non-verbal praise. When your son sings well in a school concert, give him “thumbs up” for his performance.  Give a “high five” when the team passes by after a won soccer game.  Give a high cheer and applause for getting a three-point shoot in basketball.  Praise their effort and their willingness to succeed rather than the achievement.  

5.   Explain that success is not overnight.  All successes are a long process.  However, there are parents who wait until such time their children have achieved the ultimate goal before praising them.  Effective verbal praise is very significant to give when a child finds difficulties along the way.  Praise each step, stage and character trait of your child.  Praise his hard work when he finds difficulty in memorizing a long poem.  Praise his perseverance although he fails and becomes tired.  Compliment your child in every difficult phase he’s going through. 

Real success comes from those times when children encounter many mistakes.  However, they will find it easier to succeed if parents support them with effective verbal praise.  Parents are a part of their children’s victory. So when they feel like giving up, back them up and encourage them to keep going.  Soon they will get a fraction of their achievement that leads to major success!

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10 Solutions to Constantly Fighting Siblings

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Fighting siblings have been around since the beginning of time, literally. It can stem from jealousy or even just age difference. It is our responsibility as adults to help kids work through their differences, in a calm and respectful manner. Listed below are ten solutions to constantly fighting siblings. 

1.   Don’t Take Sides. If a child notices an adult taking sides or favoring their sibling, they may start to resent both parties. Remember to be impartial, and look at both sides of the situation.
2.   Cooperation. Have the fighting siblings do activities that require them to work together, rather than against each other. Focus on cooperative games and not competitive ones. 

3.   No Whining. Coach the fighting siblings and teach them to use a normal tone of voice when asking for something. If they start to whine, even when talking to a sibling, have them start over and ask again. They are much more likely to share with the other sibling, if their tone of voice is not shrieking or demanding. 

4.   Alone Time. Make sure that fighting siblings have an adequate amount of time that they get to spend by themselves. Having a younger sibling that always tags along can get irritating, so make sure that you attempt to provide them time on their own too.

5.   One-on–One Time. Not only do kids need to have time for themselves, they also need some one-on-one time with their parents and caregivers. Make sure that you are giving both fighting siblings some undivided attention on a regular basis. 

6.   Negotiate. Negotiating is a valuable skill that will come in handy later in life. Work with the children to learn to share their toys. During the negotiations, have the fighting siblings express their own emotions. This will help the other to see both sides. 

7.   Hold Them Accountable. Avoid letting the “he started it” to set in, and help them to see that it takes two to have an argument. Show them how their actions are not improving the situation. 

8.   Get Them Involved. Start a dialog to help the fighting siblings see the other person’s point of view. Ask the fighting siblings what they would have done, ask them if what they did was right and ask them how it should have been done differently. 

9.   Role Play. Once they have figured out how the problem should have been handled, have them act it out. After practicing the right way to handle a situation, fighting siblings will be better equipped if it comes up again. 

10.  Set a Better Example. Take some time to think of how you react to stressful situations. Do you fly off the handle and yell or throw things? If so, how can you expect fighting siblings to behave differently? We need to be good role models for fighting siblings, and lead by example.

The fact is, fighting siblings will not always get along, and it is the job of their parents to help ease them through conflicts. Keep a calm head. Try some of the techniques above, and you will be well on your way to teaching them great conflict resolution skills.


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This article is taken from Babysitters.  More interesting parenting articles are found in this site.

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    Successful Parenting Tips in Shaping a Child’s Behavior

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    Being a parent requires no classes, academic degrees, or licenses.  Children do not arrive with a set of instructions or a manual.  Often, parents have to learn as they go, receiving on-the-job training.  It is a difficult job, and no quantity or understanding can totally prepare them for all the circumstances that they may come across.

    To some, there is a natural instinct that seems to come to a new parent, but there are bits of advice that can help when you face challenges in the growing years of your kids.  Because most parents are concerned in becoming more effective, here are some guidelines to help you face and handle your children’s daily activities. 

    Here are some tips for successful parenting

    Tip # 1

    Use your authority

    Studies show that kids brought up by loving and yet authoritative parents—those who support their children but keep firm limits—stand out academically,  consider many good things about themselves, and build up better social skills.  They are happier than children whose parents are either excessively lenient or harsh.  All the way from childhood through their adolescent years, your kids will defy your right in exercising authority over them.  When it comes to a question like “Who is the boss?” children will be boss if parents won’t run with the ball.

    Tip # 2

    Identify family issues

    Kids become better with understandable rules and consequences.  Using no structure, they become unhappy, selfish, self-absorbed—and they make everybody around them unhappy, too.  If you do love your kids, you have to correct them.  If rules are broken, impose the consequences right away.  Note: if you are angry, wait until you have calmed down before you enforce the discipline.  Nevertheless, don’t delay it.  Avoid bargaining.

    Tip # 3

    Recognize your child’s feelings

    Children need and want the most important ones in their lives—their parents—to understand how they feel inside.  If parents consistently oppose their kids when expressing their emotions, children will be less expected to discuss matters with them and may even doubt their capabilities on how to think and feel good about themselves.  Children naturally express their emotions and thoughts in intense ways.

    Tip # 4

    Educate by example

    Actions teach and educate.  Very often, words impact only information.  Mimicking their parents is one of the most influential ways children learn.  Try hard to be good models but not perfect.  Keep bringing them up in well-disciplined and mental-guiding ways.

    Tip # 5

    Seek good advice

    Definitely, bringing up a child is one of the most frustrating yet rewarding and fulfilling tasks any person can achieve.  Most parents go to professional parenting specialists for advice and guidance.  Some of what these skilled people speak of is based on principles.  Ask for the expert’s perspective and mastery on how to raise kids.  Seek for both sensible examples and direct advice that can assist you in becoming better parents.

    Successful parenting has never been much needed in one family than these days.  Right parenting helps in shaping the next generations teaching how they will behave and live on.  Understanding the healthy techniques and applying them diligently is tiring and a difficult process, but the reward is long-lasting and fulfilling.  Congratulations to all parents out there who have done their most important roles in raising their kids!!


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    6 Tips to Healthy Eating Habits for Your Kids

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    Kids need a healthy diet if they are to grow up as healthy adults.  As parents, they should know how to set up healthy eating habits for their kids.  An early-day food diet should include a choice of fruits and vegetables in their regular meals. You should have interactive and enjoyable ways to initiate healthy eating habits.  Even if it may take your effort, you may persuade your children to begin making healthier choice.

    Mostly, children reject a new food the first couple of times it is offered.  But keep giving this food because new food will later become a regular part of daily diet.  Be cautious, on the other hand, since there are certain food every child can never eat.  So don't force your child to eat it.

    Here are several tips to get you started:

    1.  Set an example

    Become successful parents by modelling healthy eating habits to your kids.  Before you can motivate them, be the first one to eat veggies for yourself.  Not only will they do wonders for your convincing power,  but veggies will also make you and the kids healthier.  Consider making it a rule that kids have to at least make a try before they can turn their noses up at it.

    2.   Offer small food servings

    Encourage healthy eating habits for kids with the right amount of food to consume.  Your kid can always ask for the second food serving.  Happy eating can be prompted through presenting a selection of foods to our children.

    3. Discuss with your kids

    Diverse fruit and vegetables will give kids information where they grow and how they are arranged or cooked.  Understanding of the foods they’re eating can motivate good eating habits for them.  Be sure that all family members do adopt the healthy eating habits and lifestyle.  If parents and older siblings model proper eating, younger children are more likely to accept the behaviour.

    4.   Let your children join

    Encourage them to join you in meals planning, shopping, and cooking.  Easy activities for young children such as getting spoons or asking them to stir a bowl can help develop their understanding of nutritious diet.  And they will most likely want to eat the food they have prepared.  Your kids will soon develop the healthy eating habits they need. 

    5.   Never skip breakfast meal

    Morning food is the most important time for healthy eating.  Kids will function  best when they start their day with a hearty meal. Use positive words to refer to the right food.  Say for example: "I love eating tomatoes and green fresh lettuce. They are great nutritious food."

    6.   Eat together

    If the parents can develop healthy eating habits for their children, a family can show kids how to make good food choices.  Right food preferences, specifically nutritious food, are a product of correct eating and living.  By eating together, you can improve most of the bad eating practices done by members of the family. Offer a chance to spend time together, and encourage the children to slow down and enjoy each meal.

    Keep in mind that the best way to support healthy eating habits for children is to assume similar habits yourself.  Children take part on the behaviour they view in their parents, siblings, and teachers.  When you introduce new food to your offspring, consider about healthy eating in helpful ways.  Attempt to get this for your children as interactive and enjoyable as possible. 


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    How to Improve Long Memory for Children

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    There are children whose ability to memorize comes naturally. While for others, memorization is a long, difficult procedure.  How to improve long memory for children is just like any other talent. It is a skill that can be developed consistently.  To make it easier, use tricks and tips for helping children and students memorize information.

    Learning styles to improve long memory

    Until you find the most effective one for your child, continue to experiment which learning style belongs to him. Remember, every child has his own way to improve his learning--one that works best for him.  Discover the primary learning style of your child.  The best way to boost and improve long memory for children is to use one or a combination of the following strategies:

               1.   Visual learners.  They do better and improve well in memorizing information if they have pictures in which they can link the information with.

               2.   Some students may easily acquire long memory through verbal-auditory methods.  They may come from  speaking, reciting, singing, or listening repeatedly to information.

               3.   To help improve long memory for children, there are some students who learn fast through writing down details and information.

               4.   As with the the other children, there are kinesthetic learners.  This means they learn through the use of their body movements and cooperation.  For most of them, movements of hands will activate mental memories. 

    For best results, encourage your child to try all these learning styles and then identify which one is the most applicable.  Memorization differs in level and speed depending on the child's receptive ability.  So it takes time to discover the right style, but the benefits of fast learning and memorizing are achievable.    

    4 Tips to Boosting Long Memory

    The following tips will help improve long memory for children.  Kids and adults alike can use these techniques for the rest of their lives:

    1.     More repetitions and practice. 

    The act of repeating is the mother of learning.  If your goal is to help improve long memory for children, have them practice and repeat more often.  Repetition is what in the long run makes us commit things to improve long memory. For the adults, they need to hear information at least three times in order not to forget it.  An average child is required to hear it more often. Consequently, it’s significant to include day-to-day drills on key information so that younger kids can hear it through repetitions and practice.

    2.     Application of mnemonic devices.  

    Most of the adults remember things with the use of acronyms, and this is also useful for children.  To enumerate the 9 planets using “My Very Earnest Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas” for “Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto” is a lot easier. Rhyme is another type of mnemonic device.  Example, "Thirty Days Hath September." These are mental aids in helping kids memorize information.  They are time-tested, effective tools to improve long memory for children.

    3.      Audio Music helps.  

    For learners, I wrote singing as a useful tool to improve kid's ability to memorize.  Similarly, it works well for most high school and college students.  There are songs that possess the ability to assist students to learn subtraction with borrowing.   Use of songs helps to name each type of geographical landforms. Music with pairing words will help kids remember, improve and retrieve information almost immediately.  Some linguistics professors use songs to help their students memorize the key word vocabulary.  The use of music really works to improve long memory for children.

    4.     Teach memorization as a skill.  

    If your aim is to fully improve long memory for your children, don't only use these tools when studying.  Let them go beyond memorizing.  Let your kids know the importance of memorization and why. When they have memorized something, compliment them to help them remember more.  This is empowering for the kids; it will teach them to use such skill later in life.  It pays to enhance your memory and the children’s. Try the above tips and see how they can improve long memory for your children!


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    Parenting Tips: Giving Your Children Quantity of Time

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    The quantity of time you give to your children is equally important with the quality of time.  The point here is that quantity of time matters just as much as quality time.  True, you can take your children to Disneyland, but this is not good enough to replace good parenting.

    Parents’ presence is much needed.  They need to witness their children grow up.  This means spending good times with them.  But most importantly, it means being there when things get hard and tough. It means parents should be active participants in their child’s daily struggles.

    This, of course, requires time, patience and willingness to participate in a long-term process. This is real quantity of time we’re talking about.  Quantity of time requires that we be there always for our children.   

    There are things you can do together with your kids.  Here are a few examples:

    1.      working with a troubled child to help him sort out his letters
    2.      assisting a child who gives up easily to learn and to try again
    3.      teaching a child who is quick to anger and how to divert his irritation into something positive
    4.      helping a troubled kid learn how to correct an unacceptable behavior

    What I want to point out here is spending quality time because we are in a generation where money and materials have ruled our lives. The answer to this is simple: create a decision that involves quantity family activities.

    The moment you prioritize your family, it’s fairly easy to get rid of activities that take up too much of your time.  You can start creating parenting plans to serve your family’s welfare.  

    It is part of parenting to create tight decisions and hard choices occasionally.  It may mean saying "no" to the people and activities that have become the core of our lives.  What we need is balancing things in life.  And the more we choose our children over other things, the higher they become our priorities.

    In this fast-paced time, parents often neglect the importance of family relationship.  Spending time with children should not be considered an overwhelming job.  It is not a prison cell as many think of it. 

    Playing with your kids is the utmost happiness every parent can ever experience.  It can relax your tired nerves and cells.  No matter what other people believe, children are gifts from God where parents can draw their strength from. This is true if your priority is your family and children. 

    Parenting tips for spending longer time with your kids:
    • Parenting Tips # 1 -- Squeeze your schedule for your family.  Get activities you can work on together as a family. Provide each kid individualized thoughtfulness.  Start speaking with your child; find out his activities.  Be the one responsible for having a heart in his bosom. Be readily accessible, even during your busiest hours. 
    • Parenting Tips # 2 -- Spending time won’t mean doing special activities.  It means providing your interests and kindness. If you’re loaded with more chores, ask your kids to help—they are more than willing to help than you think.  Also, these are opportunities to start a conversation, bonding and connection with them.
    • Parenting Tips # 3 --Free time—quantity of time spent naturally— heals a struggling relationship.  Learn to take time with your children. Don’t worry about folding the laundry or about the many stuffs you have to do.  You can put them aside and give first your time to your kids.  You will wonder how your children receive happily the most valuable thing you own.
    Remember, nothing can take place the genuine time, love, and care parents can give their kids.  Most parents believe that an hour spent with the kids is just enough, but this is a big mistake.  Kids who can play longer hours with their parents will create deeper relationship.  The value they can get is more than just watching TV, watching movies, or listening to music.  Make a big difference in the life of your children by spending more quality and quantity of time together!

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    Six Tips to Raising a Happy Child

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    What makes a happy child? All parents want nothing but the best for their children. One day we want to see them as loving persons, reach their dreams and be successful.  Most importantly, we want them to be happy and enjoy life.  But the question is how much do we control our children and block the opportunities for them to be happy?

    Research shows that happy, well-behaved children are the product of happy and optimistic homes.  What can parents do to generate a home where your child's happiness will flourish? Read on these 6 tips to help develop your child's ability to experience joy and happiness:

    1.   A happy child knows his parents are excited about him. 

    Let your child view the light shine inside your eyes when you see him. Be mindful of his presence by showing him your smile and warm greeting.  Speak his name aloud.  Children long to hear and feel validation from their parents. Wouldn’t you love to see a person’s face glow as he enters your room because he’s happy for you? Your child loves you the most.  Think of the returns when a child receives such happy affection.

    2.   Help him know it’s fine to get bored sometimes

    As parents, it’s your normal instinct to entertain your children every time they wake up.  It goes on for the rest of the day.  So if we let them get bored and we rely on television, we limit their growth and development. Bear in mind how children possess great imaginations that flourish upon nurturing. But without the opportunity to persuade their creativity, they won't be happy and growth will not happen.  It only frustrates you not to find a happy child.  So let your children’s idle minutes develop their creativity with hands-on activities.  Help them stimulate their imaginative thoughts.  A few pieces of paper and some crayons can keep a happy child busy.


    3.   Let the child understand he is more important than your work. 

    Your children won’t just need your presence; they need your happy connective actions with them.  Why not play with your children and interact with them.  Ask some questions and listen to their answers, it’s the best way to interact.  Your child is waiting for a few minutes where you are not busy with your email, mobile phone and Facebook.  Allowing your children know they are important is like giving them the insulin to be happy.  It makes sense to create a happy child if your work becomes secondary only.

    4.   Allow your child to make a couple of rules. 

    You’re not making them the boss of the house; let them feel empowered once in a while.  Oftentimes, the struggles with our children are the direct results of them feeling they’re just followers. Parents could control these situations by allowing them feel they’re part of making house protocols. By giving your children some controls, you’re helping them understand household rules. This will lead straight to their willingness to obey.  Help them feel they have the right to give suggestive house rules.  Makes sense for a happy child, doesn’t it?

    5.   Don’t think the child knows everything, so teach him.   

    The job of parents is home schooling their children to be happy.  Whether your children go to a private or public school, it is essential that parents are the ones to fill in most of their growing needs.  There are skills not taught in school that should be learned in homes.  Growth should include the packaged deal: physical, mental, social, emotional, and spiritual.  Over time, your children will leave you and you don’t see them anymore.  What they need are sharpened tools that will help them become the best persons they can be.  It makes a happy child to leave your parental support because you prepared him to live independently.

    6.   Display acceptable behavior for them to copy. 

    In general, this is the most important factor on the list. Children do what they see from parents, not as they’re told to. If you want your child to be generous, first you got to be generous to others. If you want you want a happy child, parents must always wear a smile on their face. There is no one more influential to your child than you, the parents. Their trust is in you, so don’t ruin this trust.

    How to raise a happy child?  It is not that easy but this is one thing that must be done within a family.  Once you focus on the child’s needs, you’re doing all you can and your efforts will be rewarded. Every parent can have a happy child, fortunate to have been raised in a loving-environment family!

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      Children’s Misbehavior: Understanding Punishments on Children

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      Sickness and Symptoms
      Children’s misbehavior is not a body sickness, but oftentimes placing punishments on children will cause physical and emotional scars. The cause of this sickness is by imposing punishment, rather than right discipline.  Most average families have experienced some early warning symptoms about this condition.  

      While every abuse uses a form of punishment, not all is abusive.  This does not state that a slight punishment works or is okay.   Punishments are based on the conviction that kids should suffer in order to learn a few lessons.

      Warning signs are most obvious in people who have power to control their kids—the parents.  Often, parents think that punishments on children will balance their parenting style.  Parents can use physical suffering although parents are not abusive.  The truth is punishments on children don’t teach well; they just hurt.  If parents impose suffering, it makes learning more difficult and builds resentment toward the anguishing kids.

      Punishments on Children

      All forms of punishment can result to emotional and physical damage on kids. The harm might not be noticeable, like physical bruises, but deep rooted emotional scars will last for a lifetime.  

      Punishments on children may involve physical pain: spanking, beating, squeezing, dragging, pushing or kicking.  They can also involve scolding using hurtful verbal words.   Punishments use blame, warn, shame, or threat on kids.

      Punishments on children usually last long and it’s very unfair to our kids to take them all. Often, parents use them whether they are related to a child's misbehavior or not.  When hurt and angry, parents always use punishments as tools to retaliate.

      Punishment is a silent destroyer.  Often it does work and parents get a quick fix.  Instead of learning how to behave well, it makes kids feel afraid of what will happen if they misbehave.

      Over time, punishments on children are no longer effective.  Many kids become immune to them.  They tend to misbehave when parents are not around.  Kids may not develop right discipline but the “I-don't-care” attitude.  Kids believe it is normal to do misbehavior as long as parents don't know it.  

      The Cure

      All abusive people have been maltreated by someone.  Mostly, punishments came from their parents.  Being abusive is a learned behavior.  Fortunately, not all abused kids grow up to be punishing parents. They make a better choice—to cure it.

      The cure for harmful punishments involves all parents around the globe.  We need to re-learn the way we think as far as disciplining our children is concerned.  We need to replace harmful punishments on children with views that are healthy and positive.  Learn some effective parenting discipline skills.

      When parents use punishments on children, they must be logically related to the act of misbehavior and not on the child.  Instead of making the child suffer, the focus is on fixing the mistake to prevent it from happening again in the future.  Parents should help children learn how to practice self-discipline and not blind obedience.

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      Watching Television: How to Control What TV Programs Your Children are Watching

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      With the increasing pervasion of TV programs into the daily life and households of every family, small or big, rich or poor, it is essential for parents to pause and think about the effects the TV programs may have on the little ones in the family. As a matter of fact, there is nothing wrong about watching television, but there maybe something wrong when it comes to how much time is being spent with the TV.
      As a parent, it is very important to control what your children are watching on TV, as well as how much time they spend in front of the TV. This is because TV programs undoubtedly have immense effects on a child both in terms of the time spent and the content viewed. A parent has to figure out to what extent the child is exposed to unacceptable tv programs.  And the ideal number of hours which a child of that age should spend and of course the effects of commercials.

      Preschoolers could easily get affected and try to imitate what they watch on television. Therefore it is of utmost importance that a simple but firm plan is made for the week about how much time they can watch permitted programs. Parents can turn their children’s attention towards educational programs while discouraging undesirable programs.

      Although TV programs provide children with useful information, it certainly doesn’t make them smarter. It is vital that children realize their own strengths and weaknesses so as to become fulfilled adults. However, TV programs can obstruct children’s self-development by limiting their participation in real life activities which will help mould their characters. Young children are better off fantasizing on their own rather than by fantasizing with the help of the television.

      It is yet to be proven that viewing violence on TV programs will cause violent behavior in children. On the other hand, even experts agree that constant exposure to such programs is not in the best interests of children. Eventually children may be more causal about pain and suffering of others or they may become more fearful of the world and eventually become aggressive or withdrawn.

      The TV is brimming with programs and advertisements which show risky behavior such as stunts or sex and drugs as cool and exciting. This is worsened by the fact that there are no after-discussions about the consequences of these. This makes children who watch such content initiate or participate in such activities much earlier than their less-exposed friends.

      Let kids live their own lives and grow up on their own rather than lean onto the TV programs to live their lives the way they want to.

      This article is taken from which provides information on entertainment, books, movies, music, games and more.  Find other interesting topics on this site.


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        How to Handle Family Sibling Rivalry among Children

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        Sibling rivalry is a normal, healthy part of life among children.  In a family, no matter how well-behaved siblings are, they will occasionally fight or argue with each other.

        The severity and frequency of sibling rivalry depends on many things, including age difference, personality, age of children, and how fighting is handled by parents.

        It is generally thought that the younger children are, the more rivalry there will be. Rivalry does seem to decrease as children get older. It is also thought that the closer in age the children are, the more rivalry there will be. There is generally more competitiveness between children who are close in age.

        While there are many parents who do not know how to handle the rivalry among their children, there are some steps that can be taken to minimize such rivalry.

        Why Sibling Rivalry Occurs

        Whether siblings fight a lot or a little, there is usually no one specific cause. Rivalry occurs for a number of reasons. They differ from family to family and from sibling to sibling. Here are some common reasons why siblings fight.

        1.   Status - Many siblings fight for position in the family.

        2.   Attention - Many siblings fight to get their parents' attention.

        3.   Ownership - Many siblings fight over belongings, friends, and parents' time. 

        How to Minimize Sibling Rivalry

        1.   Treat children as individuals. Parents should stress their children's unique traits and individuality and should acknowledge their individual accomplishments.

        2.   Praise getting-along behaviors. Parents should catch their kids being good and should praise them for getting along. Parents should be specific in their praise, so their children know exactly what they are being praised for. For example "That's great how you're playing and getting along so well." Praise can be an excellent motivator of good behavior. Parents should be careful not to use praise as a way of comparing children. This will quickly backfire.

        3.   Spend time alone with your kids. No matter how many kids there are in the family, each child needs individual attention from both parents on a regular basis. Special alone-time with kids need not be complicated. Reading, taking a walk, or running an errand are all simple ways for parents to spend special time with each of their kids. Spending time alone with each child not only cuts down on rivalry, but it also strengthens the relationship between parents and their children.

        4.   Be aware of your problem-solving style. Parents should pay attention to how they get along with other adults, including their spouses. Kids learn how to handle rivalry by watching their parents. Parents should show their children appropriate ways to solve problems.

        5.   Provide lots of love and affection for your kids. Parents should show their kids often that they love them through words and actions.

        6.   Encourage children to spend time alone. Parents should encourage each of their children to participate in activities separate from those of other siblings.


        1.   Don't compare kids to one another. Parents should try to avoid comparisons, even positive ones. If parents hold one child up as an example to another, they run the risk of intensifying rivalry. Comparisons may cause hurt feelings and hopelessness, too, if one child feels he or she can't or doesn't measure up.

        2.   Don't take sides. Parents should try to remain neutral bystanders in sibling rivalry.  Kids often try to involve their parents in arguments with siblings as a way to gain control over the situation. Parents should try to stay out of fights between children who can stick up for themselves. The only exception is for physical fights. Parents should step in when fights become physical. They should make sure their kids know that they are not allowed to hurt each other. Stepping in, however, does not need to imply that parents are taking sides. One good way of maintaining neutrality is to simply demand an end to the hostilities and to refuse to listen to arguments and explanations.

        3.   Don't overreact to sibling rivalry. Disputes are bound to happen, and kids learn how to handle disputes by watching their parents. Parents who overreact may end up reinforcing a rivalry behavior.

        Sibling rivalry is a fact of life. There will always be family sibling rivalry among older children. However, parents can use these opportunities to teach their children how to resolve conflicts. This is a very important tool to have in life. Sibling rivalry has its positive side, too. In learning how to deal with rivalry, children learn how to cooperate, problem-solve, and negotiate. They will probably grow up to be more tolerant of other people, and more generous, too.

        Written by Kristen Zolten, M.A. and Nicholas Long, PhD, Department of Pediatrics, University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences Artwork by Scott Snider.  You can fin her article in Center for Effective Parenting.