Why Children need Discipline: Understanding the Importance of Discipline

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Any child who has not developed child discipline is lacking the required skill to face challenges and improve relationships.  Why children need discipline is very crucial for their happiness and joy.  It is as important as healthy food, body exercise, and love.   

Kids who are not trained on discipline are considered unhappy.  Unfortunately, it is anger, and resentfulness that will rule their lives.  A child becomes a hostile company to those around him.  Other people cannot make them contented and pleased.  It will be a hard endeavor to get along with others.  So it is very important to set foundations in order to create good behavior on the life of a child.  And the earlier the training, the better the results.



Why is there a need for Discipline?


Unfortunately, not all parents have the willingness to discipline their children.  There are hesitant parents in many families.  The reason is that they want to avoid having struggles with their own kids.  They don’t want their children to get angry with them.  For some who had bad experiences during childhood, they may want a lot easier things for their children.  Therefore, they use stress-free rules and provide their kids with more comfort instead of using positive challenges.  


In reality, discipline is not about opposing with your children.  Neither is it creating battles in your relationship.  It is an effective way of showing right behavior and controlling extreme emotions.  It is not even imposing verbal or physical punishment for doing wrong.  Discipline is about setting limits and taking in consequences for not obeying rules. 


Having been trained to know and do what’s right from wrong, a child will have a sense of discerning positive attitude against negative behavior.  With his own initiative and desire, a child can behave well even without the parents’ instructions.  Children can show good behavior without the parents around them.  As we all know, most children do what parents tell them to do because of fear and punishment.  And this fear is not the purpose of discipline.  



What happens when Children don’t follow Discipline


What exactly children experience if they don’t practice discipline?


1.   There is no self-control.

2.   They disrespect people in authority like their parents.
3.   They think everything they do is a proper behavior.
4.   They become threat to others.
5.   They become self-seeking and they are not a good company to others.
6.   Their social skills are not developed.
7.   They find it hard to forge friendship with others.
8.   Other virtues like generosity, long patience, and empathy are also lacking.
9.   They will show harmful, negative behavior to themselves and others.
10.  Finally, they become very unhappy and find no real meaning of life.

 

Characteristics of well-disciplined Children


 On the other hand, you will find children who are disciplined if:

1.   They can exercise self-control and self-reliance.

2.   They are responsible to help people in school, home and community.
3.   They show self-confidence. They can express themselves comfortably.
4.   They are loved by parents though they do some mistakes.
5.   They have accountability about the things they do.
6.   They create right choices and decisions not as a result of punishment or fear.
7.   They make others happy and have positive outlook of life.

Love is the key why children need discipline.  Love and discipline must go hand-in-hand. If parents failed to discipline their children, probably the right amount of love is not given priority. Contrary to what others believe, whatever the age of your child is, it is never too late to late to teach them the importance of child discipline. It’s worth all the efforts especially for our kids!

Lies: Why do children lie to us? Why can’t they be honest?

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Why children lie is a big problem of most parents. As children continue to grow they don’t just tell the truth all the time, they also learn to tell some lies.  Adults are not the only ones capable of lying, even children are.  The very first time parents discover their child lying, it would be a big surprise for them. 

Studies show that kids, 3 years old and above, are no longer telling all the truth.  This is true especially when they have been trained by parents to lie, or when they see and observe their parents lying. Children lie because parents do.

Being honest is normal to kids, but when they enter grade school, there’s no guarantee they will always tell the truth.  Children will continue to lie as they reach the stage of puberty because they want to protect themselves and their friends.


Why children lie and their reasons

There are many reasons why children don’t tell the truth.  Based on circumstances, children will lie because they want to:

1.   Hide something, expecting that reprimand or consequences will not be imposed.

2.   Do some experiments or exploring to see how they parents would react or respond.

3.   Excite people or overstress a story.

4.   Get a person’s attention although the listener knows he’s not honest.

5.   Influence a certain situation by setting up on something.



When children lie, what must parents do? 

1.   Appreciate first his manner of saying the truth.  But if he lies, you can say that you’re not happy about it.  For example, you may say “I’m frustrated and feel sad when you’re lying to me.” 

2.   Always help your child appreciate what honesty is—a counterpart of lying.  Good children’s books and stories are good sources of honesty.  Find some stories that demonstrate how lying works against a child and its bad consequences.  There is a cost when children do lie.  By and large, punishing a child about his little mistakes is less important than teaching him the significance of being truthful.  Correct them immediately when you hear your children lie. And then do compliment when you catch them telling the truth.

3.   Know why the child seems lying. Lots of children who lie are fond of making things up.  Often, they overstate what they’re saying in order to impress someone.  Truth is, being imaginative is good for his mental growth.  This kind of play is very helpful and won’t make children lie.  In this case, tall tales don’t seem to be considered as lying for kids below 4 years old.

4.   Seek help from professionals.  Children 7 years old and above are telling lies more frequently.  Why children lie is connected with some unacceptable behaviors like playing a cigarette lighter, stealing money, hurting pets, or destroying things. If you think your child has this habit and you can’t manage to control the behavior, seek help from professionals.  You may discuss this with a psychologist or a school counselor.

Both honesty and dishonesty are practiced and learned inside a home.  Parents are generally concerned about why their children lie to them.  Find some alternatives to lying.  Instil to them the value of honesty.  Show them the difference between telling the truth and lying.  Understand the reasons why children lie. Don’t wait till this habit becomes their bad character trait.



Lies: Why do Children Lie to us? Why can't they be Honest   is a post on Modern Parenting Tips: Styles & Approach to Train & Discipline Children