Showing posts with label Parents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parents. Show all posts

10 Positive Parenting Tips for Successful Family Living

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Unknown to most parents, an effective positive parenting is a skill that needs time to be developed.  It takes long patience and perseverance before you see huge results.  And along the process are practical tips to carry out the parenting job.

Find below what positive parenting tips are helpful in creating successful family living:

Tip #  1.   Raise the value of playing.  For a small kid, playing is a child’s beautiful world.  A play is critical in every aspect of his total development.  Unfortunately, this is what most parents neglect to do.  A play which is an effective form of positive parenting can prevent behavioral problems.  Play tips give a variety of opportunities to learn naturally.  This is so important in shaping a positive relationship between children and parents.  Oftentimes, it feels so good to act like a child again.  It makes children feel more enjoyable when joined with parents.

Tip # 2.   Create house rules and impose them.  No matter what the age of the child is, specific rules are important in effective positive parenting.  Build up some rules to follow with appropriate consequences if children failed to follow.  Make sure parents are the first ones to comply with it to encourage children to do the same.  House rules make your parenting roles much easier.

Tip # 3.   Pay attention to what your child is saying.  Effective positive parenting uses eye to eye contact and tender touch when dealing with children.  In contrast, using high-pitched voice and provoking words are the enemies of positive communication.  Your children, instead of listening to you, will get annoyed and will answer you back with unpleasant response.  Provide precise instructions, not too much talking that will irritate the child.  Don’t also undermine the value of non-verbal message.  Always hold the hands of your kid to comfort him.  A touch and loving embraces make a big difference.

Tip # 4.   Help improve their body and brain.  Healthy foods are the tips for strong resistance.  As parents, model the good positive habits of eating the right food. Prioritize a variety of nutritious foods to avoid being picky eaters or being sickly.  Positive parenting becomes effective if parents can eat happily with them.  Limit the number of hours watching TV or playing electronic games.  Raise your children’s spirits by doing lots of physical activities: exercise, playing, or helping in household chores.  Always give positive support to their efforts, whether or not they excel in school. Give them many opportunities to explore, try and learn new things.

Tip # 5.   Answer them when they ask you questions.  Make it a habit to always ask questions.  When they’ve grown up, it will be easier for them to communicate with you.  Be positive and show honesty and sincerity when answering them, even the most sensitive matters.  Give the precise “word” and don’t lie.  Children get satisfied with a little knowledge that comes from effective positive parenting.  There’s no need to expand your answer.  Being truthful generates mutual trust as well as respect for parents and others.

Tip # 6.   Watch how your child grows and accept his uniqueness.  The true experts in positive parenting are the parents; they know better their child’s distinctiveness more than anyone else.  Whether it’s intellectual, physical, or in behavioral pattern, parents are the most knowledgeable.  Keep in mind to happily accept your child's uniqueness no matter what he or she is. This is the feature of effective positive parenting: Don’t criticize their individuality.  Be supportive enough in enhancing their talents and interests.  Give ample time to connect with them every day.  And never ever compare them with other kids.  It brings no positive results but only destroys their self-worth and develops low self-esteem.

Tip # 7.   Have a happy, regular family togetherness.  To feel that every member belongs to each other, a family should be involved in common activities.  These tips include meal time together, helping one another doing tasks, or simply playing.  Have time together to talk about problems, needs, or achievements to promote a positive and strong relationship.    An effective time to positive parenting is togetherness.

Tip # 8.   Help your child distinguish right from wrong.  It is a gradual, progressive process to develop good character in your child.  Show in actions the right behavior they should mimic, and not just instructing them. Children learn better when their parents are their role models in real actions, not in words.

Tip # 9.   Don’t forget yourself. A lot of parents just focus all their time to the needs of their children.  Sad to say, they neglect their health, forget to eat, and don’t take care of their appearance anymore.  If you’re doing an effective positive parenting, don't forget yourself.  Consider the tips of taking rest, food, sleep and some sorts of fun and recreation.  Parents need to recharge their strength every day.  Being tired and feeling weak make you ineffective.  Be nice to yourself, give it good treatment and you’ll be more capable to complete your job.

Tip # 10.   Above everything else, let them feel your love.  Loving is the most effective positive parenting skill. Without it, all your efforts turn to nothing.  Whether it’s disciplining or teaching, love must be the motivating factor of parents.  Your unconditional love for them will conquer even the most insurmountable condition. Give love first and your goal of effective positive parenting will follow!

Raising a child is a difficult career to do, but not to parents who know the secrets of effective positive parenting. Being responsible for another child’s life is overwhelming but rewarding.  The least thing you do or do not do can have long-life consequences.  If you want to be great parents your child will be proud of, taking the above positive parenting tips could help.  Ignore these tips or you regret later!!

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Lies: Why do children lie to us? Why can’t they be honest?

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Why children lie is a big problem of most parents. As children continue to grow they don’t just tell the truth all the time, they also learn to tell some lies.  Adults are not the only ones capable of lying, even children are.  The very first time parents discover their child lying, it would be a big surprise for them. 

Studies show that kids, 3 years old and above, are no longer telling all the truth.  This is true especially when they have been trained by parents to lie, or when they see and observe their parents lying. Children lie because parents do.

Being honest is normal to kids, but when they enter grade school, there’s no guarantee they will always tell the truth.  Children will continue to lie as they reach the stage of puberty because they want to protect themselves and their friends.


Why children lie and their reasons

There are many reasons why children don’t tell the truth.  Based on circumstances, children will lie because they want to:

1.   Hide something, expecting that reprimand or consequences will not be imposed.

2.   Do some experiments or exploring to see how they parents would react or respond.

3.   Excite people or overstress a story.

4.   Get a person’s attention although the listener knows he’s not honest.

5.   Influence a certain situation by setting up on something.



When children lie, what must parents do? 

1.   Appreciate first his manner of saying the truth.  But if he lies, you can say that you’re not happy about it.  For example, you may say “I’m frustrated and feel sad when you’re lying to me.” 

2.   Always help your child appreciate what honesty is—a counterpart of lying.  Good children’s books and stories are good sources of honesty.  Find some stories that demonstrate how lying works against a child and its bad consequences.  There is a cost when children do lie.  By and large, punishing a child about his little mistakes is less important than teaching him the significance of being truthful.  Correct them immediately when you hear your children lie. And then do compliment when you catch them telling the truth.

3.   Know why the child seems lying. Lots of children who lie are fond of making things up.  Often, they overstate what they’re saying in order to impress someone.  Truth is, being imaginative is good for his mental growth.  This kind of play is very helpful and won’t make children lie.  In this case, tall tales don’t seem to be considered as lying for kids below 4 years old.

4.   Seek help from professionals.  Children 7 years old and above are telling lies more frequently.  Why children lie is connected with some unacceptable behaviors like playing a cigarette lighter, stealing money, hurting pets, or destroying things. If you think your child has this habit and you can’t manage to control the behavior, seek help from professionals.  You may discuss this with a psychologist or a school counselor.

Both honesty and dishonesty are practiced and learned inside a home.  Parents are generally concerned about why their children lie to them.  Find some alternatives to lying.  Instil to them the value of honesty.  Show them the difference between telling the truth and lying.  Understand the reasons why children lie. Don’t wait till this habit becomes their bad character trait.



Lies: Why do Children Lie to us? Why can't they be Honest   is a post on Modern Parenting Tips: Styles & Approach to Train & Discipline Children

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Sibling Rivalry: What Mistakes Parents Do and How to Help Older Sibling

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Siblings who may view themselves as enemies are obviously having a hard time getting along with each other.  This growing sibling rivalry may become a major problem among families. Fighting and disagreements don’t just stop in childhood stage.  This condition may become worse as sibling rivalry continues to grow until they reach the adulthood life. 

Opposition against each other is a never-ending issue in a family relationship.  Consequently, a sibling rivalry gives stress and pressures to the children as well as to the parents.


Dealing with sibling rivalry


Many children can immediately adjust to a new member of the family.  However, their disagreeing relationship may still continue and this is a normal phenomenon. Parents may worsen the situation as they put more time and attention to the other child. Time and care is divided and the new child certainly gets more devotion compared to the older one. The older child is expected to see the changes and start feeling jealous.  Over time, he starts to feel he’s ousted. This becomes the substance of a budding sibling rivalry.



What mistakes parents do?


1.   Paying no attention to the severe sibling rivalry and taking such as a normal condition.


2.   Not training both kids to resolve fights.


3.   Failing to demonstrate right skills in coping with sibling rivalry.


4.   Regularly taking sides.  One child receives more favor over the other.


5.  Unreasonable expectations from the older child.


6.  Reprimanding the older child more often due to rivalry.


7.  Too much spoiling or cuddling of the younger child.   

8.  No consistent attention, support, caring for the older child.


9.  Failing to teach anger management, self-control and long patience.


10. Frequently putting all the blame on the older child without valid reasons.



Helping to adjust sibling rivalry


What parents should do in order to cope with potential rivalry?  They are to encourage the older child to get involved in the younger child’s life starting from birth onwards.


Prior to birth, get the participation of the older child in order to avoid the advent of sibling rivalry.  Give simple responsibilities such organizing the baby’s toys, clothes, crib, pictures, etc.  Read fun and interesting books—about waiting for a new baby—that will excite the child.


Once the new sibling is born, parents should increase the amount of responsibility given to the older child: to love, hug, and kiss the newborn.  Teach him to consider the needs and feelings of the new sibling.  Help him comfort the baby and be nice to him always to resolve sibling rivalry.



How should parents mediate?


Parents play an important role is dealing with the serious sibling rivalry.  Quarreling children may also result to severe emotional IQ that deals with psychological and social behaviors. So as they fight, parents can use this opportunity to train them to face and resolve the issues. 


Use sibling rivalry to help them solve disagreements, assert themselves properly, and manage bad emotions.  This situation will be good opportunities to appreciate the other sibling’s perspective and to sympathize with him.  Sibling rivalry would have been developed into a bad habit if parents had not intervened in their lives. If the conflict is not solved immediately, it will have a bad effect on the social life of the child—in school and community.


In conclusion, sibling rivalry has a great craving for love and attention from parents.  You can address the needs of your older child by not closing your eyes to him.  Keep on spending special times as much as you do with his new sibling.  Continue to provide unconditional love, routines and activities you used to have before.  Out of this sibling rivalry should both of them learn values, respect, self- control, and conquering impulses. Parents should do something about the fighting kids or sibling rivalry will last for a lifetime.



Sibling Rivalry: What Mistakes Parents Do and How to Help Older Sibling   is a post on Modern Parenting Tips: Styles & Approach to Train & Discipline Children


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Children’s Misbehavior: Understanding Punishments on Children

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Sickness and Symptoms
 
Children’s misbehavior is not a body sickness, but oftentimes placing punishments on children will cause physical and emotional scars. The cause of this sickness is by imposing punishment, rather than right discipline.  Most average families have experienced some early warning symptoms about this condition.  

While every abuse uses a form of punishment, not all is abusive.  This does not state that a slight punishment works or is okay.   Punishments are based on the conviction that kids should suffer in order to learn a few lessons.


Warning signs are most obvious in people who have power to control their kids—the parents.  Often, parents think that punishments on children will balance their parenting style.  Parents can use physical suffering although parents are not abusive.  The truth is punishments on children don’t teach well; they just hurt.  If parents impose suffering, it makes learning more difficult and builds resentment toward the anguishing kids.


Punishments on Children

All forms of punishment can result to emotional and physical damage on kids. The harm might not be noticeable, like physical bruises, but deep rooted emotional scars will last for a lifetime.  

Punishments on children may involve physical pain: spanking, beating, squeezing, dragging, pushing or kicking.  They can also involve scolding using hurtful verbal words.   Punishments use blame, warn, shame, or threat on kids.

Punishments on children usually last long and it’s very unfair to our kids to take them all. Often, parents use them whether they are related to a child's misbehavior or not.  When hurt and angry, parents always use punishments as tools to retaliate.

Punishment is a silent destroyer.  Often it does work and parents get a quick fix.  Instead of learning how to behave well, it makes kids feel afraid of what will happen if they misbehave.

Over time, punishments on children are no longer effective.  Many kids become immune to them.  They tend to misbehave when parents are not around.  Kids may not develop right discipline but the “I-don't-care” attitude.  Kids believe it is normal to do misbehavior as long as parents don't know it.  


The Cure

All abusive people have been maltreated by someone.  Mostly, punishments came from their parents.  Being abusive is a learned behavior.  Fortunately, not all abused kids grow up to be punishing parents. They make a better choice—to cure it.

The cure for harmful punishments involves all parents around the globe.  We need to re-learn the way we think as far as disciplining our children is concerned.  We need to replace harmful punishments on children with views that are healthy and positive.  Learn some effective parenting discipline skills.

When parents use punishments on children, they must be logically related to the act of misbehavior and not on the child.  Instead of making the child suffer, the focus is on fixing the mistake to prevent it from happening again in the future.  Parents should help children learn how to practice self-discipline and not blind obedience.


Children's Misbehavior: Understanding Punishments on Children is a blog post on  Modern Parenting Tips: Styles & Approach to Train & Discipline Children

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The Pressures and Stress of Modern Education System on Children

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What would be the answer if a child is asked, “Why do you go to school?”  Most likely, his answer would be, "to study". Second, when he is asked why he studies, the answer could be, "to get high scores in tests." Is this how children view the modern education system now?

Nowadays, children advance much faster than their parents did, 20-30 years ago. Modern education system is able to give tons of information to children effortlessly.  This explains the wonder of faster development via technology.  This phenomenon is standard today and not to be viewed as giftedness.


 Now, this is the big question mark.  If education is only for memorizing words from the books and scoring high in exams then this could be the best option:  Just lock the students in the class room and tell them to scan the book for their brains.  It’s a good idea, isn't it?  No, because the main purpose of education is not just mind learning.   It’s knowing and doing what they learn in order to achieve suitable personality development.


Modern education system is not pouring out a bunch of information in a child’s brain.   It is showing him a knowledge box and asking him to extract the important data from it.  



How Children Suffer from Modern Education System


In this generation, the attitude of young students about education is changing.  Modern education system teaches children but puts on much pressure of passing the exams with 90+ marks.  The stress they get from teachers, parents and peers are incomparable.  It is even much harder for some children who can’t cope up with the daily lessons and activities in school.  Often, little children are deprived of the privileges of being kids like playing and having fun.  Later in life, they’ll get the pressures of securing jobs in this competitive world. 


Such fortune of students will be persisting for long if the present modern education system prevails.  This is true if young students don’t exactly understand the value of education.  And who is to blame for this, the parents, the modern education system, or something else?


The suicide committed by the students due to the pressures of failures in the exams is no longer a suicide.   It’s a murder and the murderer is related to education?  Probably, yes.  Even if you say that some students survive and win in rigid exams, people with such comments should look a bit ahead of their future.   They leave their country not satisfied with what they have learned.  So in all ways the system of education is has something to do with it.


Certainly there is an answer to this.  If we look for the successful secrets of the developed nations, there we can find resolutions.  USA is one of the leading powerful countries and peeping into their education system we find their perfect modern education system.  It doesn’t seek for just professionals.  The kids and students are open to pick their track and go for it.  It creates talented and high-class professionals.  



Conclusion


Modern education system is just the product of what the present technology offers our children.  This is where we are right now and it will improve further into higher system.  Children can always adjust to advanced education although to them it’s stressful.  Children are not to compete for high academic recognitions but to use modern education system in shaping their good traits and character.  Understanding why they need to go to school will lessen their pressures.



The Pressures and Stress of Modern Education System on Children  is  a post on  Modern Parenting Tips: Styles & Approach to Train & Discipline Children


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Children Discipline: Why Toddlers Misbehave and What Should Parents Know

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Your toddlers may misbehave; they don’t want to get dressed.  They show defiance every time you ask them to do something. Well, to bring up disciplined children is not about forcing them to do things.  Neither is it about spoiling and giving in to your toddlers.   

Correct children discipline is all about a child learning to respect parents.  They should be more than willing to cooperate and behave well.  But what should parents do in these situations?


First, let's get into the experimental psychology of little toddlers.  How can struggling parents help divert their toddler’s annoying behaviour from defiance to peaceful family relationship.  This way parents can understand better why most toddlers misbehave.

Take note of this: To help little toddlers not misbehave, understand the world around them.  They should learn to test boundaries and limits.  At this stage they are just learning to walk and move progressively.  This is the reason why they are called ‘toddlers’—they are toddling around in the world. They are just initially learning the stage on how to step and stand on their feet.

Toddlers will always misbehave for sure. They will test what are the limits and boundaries.  The moment they know the limits, they will feel comfortable within their boundary.  They can still carry on exploring but they feel more protected within these safe measures.

Now, these are the reasons why it is unhealthy for parents either to be pliable or rigid.  On the process of reinforcing the rules, the limits and boundaries, be sure that you’re giving your toddlers ways to grow up as happy children.


When Do Toddlers Misbehave?

Parents, try to understand it that when toddlers misbehave, their behaviour is healthy and normal for their age.  If toddlers misbehave, there is a general indication that 1 out of these 3 things is taking place:

First, toddlers are in need of something - perhaps they are stressed or experiencing some disconnections from parents.  Probably, they’re feeling hungry, want to pee, or they are faced with too much stimulation and they cannot relax enough.

Second, toddlers are feeling stressed or anxious - when they are tense or stressed, they cannot think and relate properly.   Since part of children’s nervous systems are strained and stress hormones are activated, toddlers do act out compulsively and almost beyond their control.

Third, toddlers just don’t know they’re doing it - perhaps they don't know the reason why there’s a need to get dressed.  Parents can explain them in the simplest way how to do it.  Let them understand that toddlers should not misbehave.  Their little understanding helps a lot.

It is very hard to think, but toddlers misbehave not because they’re trying to be bad.  Toddlers are just doing the best they can with their limited skills.  Regardless of the reason, even the sweetest of toddlers misbehave badly at certain level.  But eventually they will outgrow this stage.


Children Discipline: Why Toddlers Misbehave and What Should Parents Do  is  a post on  Modern Parenting Tips: Styles & Approach to Train & Discipline Children


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Parents Substitute -- Are iPad, Technology and Internet Good for Parenting Substitutes?

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Technology, Internet and today’s iPad have major impacts on the way our children grow up—in ways parents have never experienced before.  But isn’t this the same arguments our parents made when they thought that too much TV was bad for us? Today, more parents are saying that they don’t find any problems about technology or having an iPad.  It is rather more useful for their kids.  But how trustworthy are they to substitute genuine parenting?


A colleague says he loves his iPad, not only for his work, but also for his young children who can spend hours having fun.  The first thing his kids would ask him when he comes home is whether they can play with it.

When asked if it might be too early to let kids play with this gadget, this colleague says his iPad offers unlimited games and educational apps to boost their creativity. 


Parent’s iPad Concerns and Participation

Many parents are concerned about the impact ipad, technology and Internet have on their children. Many ban their kids from using an iPad while others impose strict controls on when and how long their children can use it.

The question is whether the arrival of this smart iPad is really good or not for children during the years they critically develop their personality.  Other parents are quite liberal because they see that technology now is very important for kids.   The earlier age their children get used to using an iPad, the higher the benefits.

However, potential exposure to unfiltered information and anti-social behavior are impacts not recognized or understood by some parents.  They need to be spelled out to determine whether an iPad is good enough or not yet suitable for children’s upbringing.


Services Technology and Internet have on Children

1.   The Internet has encouraged the young generation to be far more expressive than their elders, who grew up with speech and thoughts rigidly controlled by the state. This is true in other countries where freedom of speech is guaranteed.

2.   The Internet allows young children to learn about people in other parts of the world.  This is a privilege that in the past was reserved to wealthy kids. Traveling makes a wise person—this applies to virtual travelers now afforded to most everyone via Internet. 

3.   The Internet allows young children to learn different cultures, backgrounds and the opportunity to create interactions. Many people acquire values like tolerance and respect of others.  Those parents and children who approach this with open-minds will further discover not only about the world but often about themselves and other people.

The Internet, smart tablet and other gadgets are only some that influence children’s character much like when they acquire values from school, the environment, and homes.

There is no accurate way of saying that iPad, technology and Internet are not suitable for your growing children.  Ultimately, it depends on parents who supervise them. But one thing for sure, these are no real substitutes for a good parenting.  You can’t touch, hug, kiss and get genuine, personal interactions with technology.  Bed time stories are still best told by mom or dad, even if with the help of an iPad, technology and Internet.


Parents Substitute -- Are iPad, Technology and Internet Good for Parenting Substitutes?  is  a post on  Modern Parenting Tips: Styles & Approach to Train & Discipline Children


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Quarreling Parents: How They Hurt Their Children

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Most quarreling parents differ with their partner’s principles on various occasions.  No one agrees on all things in this world. Disagreeing moments with each other are normal and natural in families. But how they handle conflicts with one another has a lasting impact on their children—in their emotional health, and in the decisions they’ll be making in life later.

If the husband and wife act in acceptable manner, they will know how to manage their differences in peaceful way. However, this seldom happens.

More often, either one or both parents handle their differences in unfriendly manners.  This is how quarreling parents get started and this leads to bigger family issues.

Although one spouse may be mature enough, the other aggressive partner won’t let this one to peacefully settle the difference.  Kids basically need their mom and dad.  Kids need two happy parents who are not supposed to hurt children.


Quarreling parents -- a terrifying time for children

Big family issues just started from a simple disagreement and misunderstanding.  Soon it rises up into hurting words and shouting, and these hurt the children.  Some homes have tears, others have shoving, pushing, or beating. It’s not their kids who are out of control, it’s the parents.  Parents are fighting again.

Seeing quarreling parents are even harder on the part of the kids. When one or two of the parents lose their control, it completely rocks the children’s world.  If the parents are not solid and reasonable, then the child’s security is ruined. 

Quarreling parents produce children who feel tensions and hostility. They become mentally and emotionally upset. This is observed on the kids’ faces and their body language. They tend to shrink, tremble, or hide. Some kids get nauseous, hold their breath, and start to hyperventilate. Others cry.  All of them are scared stiff.



Hurting children—is this their mistake?

Children have only a small world inside the home.  Centering on themselves, families and their limited life’s exposure, they think their quarreling parents are directly related to them.  Parents can unconsciously hurt their children.

When parents have quarreling, regardless of the reasons, most children put the blame on themselves. They perceive that the fight was triggered by them so they see their parents fighting.

Kids think that if they had been good, they would not have quarreling parents. Worse, kids internalize the struggles and develop anxiety within themselves.

Although kids can’t do anything to change the circumstances, the anxiety consumes them inside out.  Feelings of insecurities and doubts fill their world, and they begin to experience low self-esteem. Quarreling parents should understand well how their fights hurt their children.  
One important thing parents can do is to set a healthy parent relationship to display on children.  They should learn to develop effective communication and conflict resolution techniques.   If quarreling parents is the family issue at home, then kids will always chase fights in the family.  Remember: Children do what they hear and see from their parents.  Should quarreling be helpful then for you, your kids, and family?  Come to think of it.

Quarreling Parents: How They Hurt Their Children  is  a post on  Modern Parenting Tips: Styles & Approach to Train & Discipline Children

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Stressful Family? Learn the Keys to Successful Parenting on Children (Part 2)

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Successful parenting on children has never been more significant to a family than this day.  Effective parenting forms the lives of the young people, and the way the coming generations will live is dependent on our parenting today.  We’ve learned from the past that poor parenting has always led families to much stress and confusions.  This is the most difficult job to work on.


Here is the continuation (part 2) of my article post on "Stressful Family? Learn the Keys to Successful Parenting on Children."

5.   Explain the importance of inner strength – Through constructive ways, guide them how to accept rejections, mistakes, and overcome failures - It is normal to fail and make mistakes, these things teach our kids inner strength and character.  Successful parenting helps children understand how to do THEIR best and not THE best.  It is necessary to learn lessons from every circumstance they may encounter in life—be it good or bad.

6.   Don’t give everything they want—This is one way to teach control over impulses.  As parents, we are sometimes guilty of doing this.  Tolerating this is hindering you to achieve successful parenting on children. Remember that instant gratification can’t form winning character on kids.   Instead allow these situations to help them realize that there certain limitations in everything.  They cannot get all things they want, explain in a loving manner.

7.   Place encouragement in positive views - When you motivate your children to do things especially in studies, teach your kids the importance of doing his best, instead of affirming the negative. "Study or you get punished"—this makes for a negative, short-term motivation.  Doing this is teaching your kid not to get the value of his future.  He will miss the real concept why there is a need to work hard on his studies.

8.   Teach them to be nice and helpful - Help the kids to appreciate what they have.  Teaching them to be kind and supportive makes a gentle spirit within.  Likewise, showing them to be thankful for whatever they get will produce a positive outlook. When kids see less fortunate people, tell them how blessed they are.  They are not in the same situation like others.  Successful parenting is done when children hear good things taught to them by their parents. 

9.   Involve your kids with the situation at hand (to a certain degree) - How you handle this will depend on the kids' age. Knowing the proper timing and manner how to say it is crucial. Are you having certain financial struggles? Serious marital problems such as divorce? While these are adult problems, it can be discussed with the kids to a right level. This gives them a concrete grip of reality. The key to successful parenting on children is to explain it in the least negative way.  It should not involve bitterness but rather optimism and acceptance.


Family is not meant to be a stressful life.  Today, there are a lot of guidelines online to help parents get effective family relationships.  Basically, successful parenting that deals with children involves much patience, love, and communications from parents.  The key is developing a close family relationship with children.  In the long run, they will come out as big winners in life!


Stressful Family? Learn the Keys to Successful Parenting on Children (Part 2)  is a post on Modern Parenting Tips: Styles & Approach to Train & Discipline Children


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Stressful Family? Learn the Keys to Successful Parenting on Children (Part 1)

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The adulthood condition of a person is mainly influenced by how he or she was raised by the parents. To be successful in parenting children is hard to achieve.  This is true when bad experiences happened during the person’s childhood stages onwards. When parents have failed in giving positive attention and  nurturing ambiance, their children would seek acceptance and love from someone else—mostly from their peers.

There are backgrounds why parents have turned hostile to their kids.  Here are the possibilities. 


     1.   A child didn’t receive sufficient love and attention.
     2.   A child didn’t get positive encouragement from parents.  
     3.   A child was treated cruelly through anger and punishment.


However, with the help of today’s technology there are a variety of ways to overcome this problem.  If you want to be successful in parenting your children and help them avoid what you went through then read on. 


Helpful tips to Successful Parenting

1.   Provide positive attention and unconditional love – Successful parenting on children is loving them just as they are, not because they excel in school, sports, or show talents, but just for being what they are.  Parents should give their children attention, communicate more, show a hug and take time to listen. Enjoy doing activities with them.  Do things together—whether it's house chores or fun activities.  Kids love to seek their parents' attention and approval, whether through positive or negative behavior. If you have successful parenting on children it creates a stronger bond with your kids and they will always sink towards this bond.

2.   Make constructive approach - As kids grow, they need parents’ affirmations on what they’re doing.  This results to acceptable behaviors or habits.  Having successful parenting praises good works and achievements.  For the kids it means so much and it builds self-confidence. Support their interests and encourage them in what skills they excel.  On the other hand, if they do you wrong, don’t just scold them.  Let them know the reason why.  If parents should reprimand, do it as calm as possible and in private.  Embarrassment, especially in front of others, results to resentment and low self-worth.  The start of hostile behaviors is when parents have not been successful in parenting their children while growing up.

3.   Train your kids to be responsible - Even little kids have to learn responsibilities: picking up toys, folding laundry, doing homework, and sharing house chores.  Parents can teach them responsibility and it serves as bonding as well.  Learning responsibility is showing that kids may get rewarded for a good behavior.  Their little way of helping others pays off.  They provide motivation and empowerment.

4.   Successful parenting on children is learning to say, “I’m sorry” – Being parents and adults we are not acting right at all times.  Occasionally, an impulsive burst of anger, or a false accusation, makes kids feel rejected.  It is humility to learn to apologize to them.   At the same time, this also teaches them to be humble and do the same when they do wrong.

As parents, you only get one shot at raising your own children.  The time they have grown up wrong, kids become difficult to discipline. The greatest gift we can provide our kids is bringing them up with the right character, values, and attitude. A successful parenting you have on your children is a treasure they can also pass on to coming generations!




On Family: What is Successful Parenting on Children?  is  a post on  Modern Parenting Tips: Styles & Approach to Train & Discipline Children




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    Can Social Networking Websites Harm your Children's Brains?

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    At what cost do social networking websites and technology have to human relationships?  How true that these sites cause disturbing changes in the brains of parents' children?  Popular social sites like Twitter, Facebook, MySpace and others are said to promote immediate satisfaction, decrease attention spans, and make children more self-absorbed.


    Approximately 250 million use Facebook to keep in touch with loved ones and friends.  They share videos, images and post regular updates about their activities.  Further 150 million have signed up to micro-blogging Twitter that allows users to circulate and exchange text messages to fellow tweeters.
    This present generation is the time where parents give more complaints. They say their children lack the skills to communicate off their computer screen.While social networking websites are extremely popular to parents and children, an increasing number of neuroscientists and psychologists believe this technology may be giving more harm than good especially to children.

    What neuroscientists believe in?
    The claims of neuroscientist Susan Greenfield will make alarming reading for the million users.  This is true for children whose social lives rely on logging on every day to their favorite social networking websites.
    The alarm is that this present technology is having brain impacts to parents’ children who are attracted by the bright lights and buzzing noises.They believe that repeated exposures to social networking websites could effectively re-wire the brains of users particularly to young children.  Experts are concerned that kids using on-line communications will affect their minds.
    Technology and internet computer games and fast-paced TV shows were also additional factors.  They know how newborn infants need continuous re-assurance that they alsoexist like adult parents.
    Computer game exposures, chat rooms, instant messaging, and social networking websites could leave this generation (onwards) with small attention spans.

    Concerns on Social Networking and Technology
    1.   Parents wonder whether genuine conversations can give way to easy screen dialogues found in social networking websites.  This could be same way where butchering and skinning animals to eat is switched to convenient meat packages in supermarkets.
    2.   There is a sharp decline in children’s ability to understand each other.  It is hard to see how this way of living has hindered brains from fully developing. Parents see teenagers spending more than eight hours a day visiting social networking websites.
    3.   Psychologists have also argued that digital technology is changing the way we are thinking now. Children do not anymore need to plan essays before writing.  How grateful we are to word processors, they do editing as they go along.  Systems of satellite navigation have invalidated the value of reading maps.
    4.   Educational psychologists believe thatparents should not allow children to use computer games until they reach seven.  Often, on-line games and social networking websites will only trigger the fight or flight portion of the brain, instead of areas responsible for reasoning.
    5.   Children's low brain development happens because kids don't engage in activities they are supposed to be do—like the traditional mind and physical activities.
    While parents and children find great benefits in technology and social networking,  it doesn’t say that these are all good enough for children.  Before kids start should doing it, they need to learn to make real interactions and develop relationships with real humans—away from machines.  What do you think parents?




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