Children Hate their Parents: 5 Valid Reasons Why Children Dislike their Parents

Posted in Labels: Children, Children Hate their Parents, Children Misbehave, Discipline, Discipline Challenge, Hate, Parents, Relationship

While there are many things parents don’t like about their kids, there are also valid reasons why children hate their parents. It is illogical for parents who perceive that they are the only ones doing right and their kids are always the ones doing wrong. Effective parenting is a two-sided relationship. Both parents and children must work hand in hand in order to make their relationship grow. There should be no opportunity to provoke and hate one another.

In this modern generation, one of the family issues is that kids don’t anymore respect their mothers and fathers--they hate them. But how about us, are we aware that we should also respect and not hate our kids? Often, parents complain about their children’s acts of stubbornness and disobedience. Consequently, kids can hardly respect their parents and they tend to hate them instead. Truth is many parents overlook their responsibility of nurturing their kids in caring ways. They only see the authority they use to controlling them. This sounds unfair for the kids, doesn't it?

Basis why Children may Hate Parents

1. Over-protection does more harm than good. Allow your child to discover new things on his own. Over-loving parents tend to over-protect their children in many ways--this can make kids to hate them. Keep in mind that while a child continues to grow, he attempts to discover many things around him. All kids have this natural inclination. For younger boys, climbing up a small tree excites them. You can provide useful tips on how to climb safely rather than restricting him. So when the child climbs up again, he knows there are precautions to take. Children could hate a parent who is over-protective.

2. Unfulfilled promises. There are situations that parents do promise things for their children. The kids with all their efforts do their part. When time comes, parents provide lots of excuses to break their promises. If this happens, young kids may begin to hate them. They won’t be convinced anymore that you can still keep your promise. These unfulfilled promises are instilled in the child’s mind. It is a hurtful experience when the people they trust can't keep their words.

3. Frequent scolding is hateful. You break their heart if you respond negatively while attempting to offer their help. Kids want to please us in some small ways they can do, but how we ignore and hate their efforts. Worse, they get unreasonably scolded rather than being appreciated and praised. A husband and a wife are responsible to guide them into doing things right, not to verbally hate them when they create mistakes. Be realistic that kids are too young to live by their parents’ standards. Illogical anger is one thing kids hate about their parents. Parenting skills know how to discipline children without yelling and reprimanding.

4. Paying no attention. There are times kids want to be proud of their own accomplishments. They want their parents to get their approval and that they are achievers, too. Never ignore your child’s great art work if he shows it. It builds his self-worth and confidence if parents become happy for them. On the contrary, children may hate their parents if you don’t always pay attention to their efforts. They will have the impression that their works are not important to you. Wouldn’t that be hateful for the little ones?

5. Not doing what you teach. Parents want their kids to be action doers but not for them. This is one reason why children have the feelings of resentment. They keep instructing their kids not to fight but aggressive blows are displayed by the father and mother. Giving explanations is not helpful, showing your action does. It is confusing for children not to fight if parents are quarrelsome and hate each other. Kids view their parents as role models in every circumstance.

Although parents have the goals to go the other mile but it’s more likely for children to hate their parents for the above valid reasons. So express your love by trying to avoid things they hate and dislike. For sure, you can win them back and earn their respect!

Children Hate their Parents: 5 Valid Reasons Why Children Dislike their Parents is a post on Modern Parenting Tips: Styles & Approach to Train & Discipline Children

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Discipline Challenge on Bad Behaviors: Why Children Always Ignore their Parents

Posted in Labels: Bad Behaviors, Children, Children Discipline, Discipline Challenge, Family Issues, Parents

It is too easy to fall into the habit of paying undue attention to the bad behaviors of children. When parents are faced with discipline challenge they become naggers, constantly correcting children’s action. Obviously this is not helping them to feel good about themselves.

Parents feel surprised when even very young kids tune them out and don’t listen. They just ignore what their parents are saying. Kids pout and act allergic to their parents. These rejecting bad behaviors make sense, don’t they? As adults, don’t we try to avoid people who regularly criticize us? Kids, too, feel exactly what adults feel. They feel bad if they are not treated with respect.

It is smarter, then, to use our energy to look for and to reinforce our children’s positive actions. If we constantly point out what they are doing right, we will help them feel proud of themselves. On the contrary, you shrink the little self-worth they have if you scold them often.

Stressful Discipline Situations

Nerve-racking discipline moments might find us losing our own self-control. Parents become ineffective when they contribute to the chaos. The minute parents recognize the bad behaviors, they should slow down, calm down, and allow the more mature self to take over. It is worth a few minutes to find constructive ways to cope with bad behaviors and apply right discipline.

Initially, kids cannot be left on their own to find solutions to problems about discipline challenge. Kids need their parents as role models. Parents need to be active participants in helping kids to clearly see family issues and to have constructive solutions.

FAQ to Meet Discipline Challenge

Our answers to the following questions will help parents meet discipline challenge in the most effective way parents can:

1. Is this a problem or a challenge? A Challenge.

2. What’s the goal of your discipline? Self-discipline

3. Is discipline for punishment or for change? For change

4. Is discipline something we do to or with children? With

5. Are we treating our children the way we hope they will treat us and others? Yes

It might be a good idea to have these questions written on index cards in several different rooms. When we need them, they will be handy to help your move open to a positive discipline path.

What kids learn and successfully use during one stage of development may need to be learned in slightly new ways during another stage. Each new phase of development builds in the preceding foundation. With parent’s help, children will begin to look upon difficult situations as challenges and will view themselves as adept problem-solvers.

When bad behaviors have been resolved, parents and kids feel relieved and want to forget that a conflict ever happened. Later, it is important to review what happened and to congratulate each other over the positive resolutions.

Remember these successful discipline interactions could help parents and children find ways to meeting the next discipline challenge. More importantly, as parents help their children to recognize bad behaviors and success, they contribute to their feelings of positive self-esteem.

Discipline Challenge on Bad Behaviors: Why Children Always Ignore their Parents is a post on Modern Parenting Tips: Styles & Approach to Train & Discipline Children

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